Now that I have made a complete 180º turn in my attitude on this whole college pigskin bowl thing — and more about that in a moment — I feel compelled to co-opt the tagline of Ten Pin Lanes, even though this type of bowling hasn’t a thing to do with strikes, spares and Wrong Foot Lou Campi.
So, should the owner of that bowling establishment have that catchy phrase copyrighted, I implore you, please don’t file trademark litigation. It just seemed so appropriate, and I borrow it for use here with only the highest regard.
* * * * *
Which brings me to this upcoming college football bowl season.
Which is the only somewhat naturally occurring phenomena growing faster than kudzu, adding now 39 more games to the season.
I used to think the ever expanding post-season schedule a bit silly, a shuck and jive which rewarded mediocrity the same as excellence.
In the days of yesteryear, only the high and mighty took the train from the Midwest to battle another power in the bucolic clime of scenic Pasadena on the first day of the New Year. Now, any school that wins as many as it loses gets to bus to Shreveport or temperate Yankee Stadium for an extra game, extra weeks of practice, an excuse for fans to get away from family dysfunction during the hectic holidaze and satchel full of swag for the players.
Now, I’ve come to believe it’s a good thing.
All those extra games on The World Wide Leader. More reasons for Joey the Vig to reach for the cabbage in my pocket. As if he needed another reason.
You know, it’s just a way to extend the season. And the matchups usually pit comparable teams against each other. West Virginia vs. Texas A & M. Memphis State vs. BYU. Are ElvisLand Tigers less toothless than MormanLand Cougars, or vice versa?
So, though it may matter not a bit to you, I’m totally on board.
Thus, you shouldn’t be hearing any more snarky comments from me in the future about teams “reaching the lofty status euphemized as bowl eligible.” Good for Rocky Top, the Cowboys and Hokies, orange teams all. Even Fresno State, which won the requisite 6, but lost 7, and is being penalized for that less than stellar regular season performance with a trip to Hawaii.
So bravo to TicketCity and AdvoCare V100 — whatever that is — and Bitcoin and Duck Commander and Franklin American Mortgage and Tax Slayer and the San Diego County Credit Union for underwriting these gridiron diversions.
I mean what else might be grabbing our attention on the evening of January 4 if we didn’t have Akron’s Zips battling the Red Wolves of Arkansas State in Mobile, with the prospect of commercial sponsor GoDaddy.com providing provocative albeit pornographic interludes during breaks in the action?
Because, you know, Fun is Bowling.
* * * * *
I’m not going to venture into the whole Ohio State jumping TCU and Baylor thing.
Except to observe this.
Five into four does not go.
Until the muckety mucks that decide these things realize that an eight team, or even mo’ betta 16 team playoff is best, one of the “Power Five” conferences is going to be left standing on the outside with its face plastered to the ice cream shoppe window, come football’s Selection Sunday.
Wait until next year when the SEC does have two schools left standing. Leaving two big leagues empty handed.
Oy, such braying shall result. We’ll need ear plugs.
Now, it’s just 12 days until Nevada and Louisiana Lafayette kick it all off in New Orleans, thanks to R&L Carriers.
— Seedy K