Because during the commencement of last week’s games, which were a disaster, by the by, and we’ll get to that soon enough, I was hooked up to an IV, while undergoing a surgical procedure.
All’s OK here. Which is not what can be said for Roll Tide fans, who looked positively hara-kiri Saturday night, to the extent that even the usually joyous schadenfreude over an Auburn L in Death Valley was muted. Since War Damn Eagles weren’t doing so well either, Sweet Home Alabama turned into Suicide Home Alabama.
Southern Cal blew one to Stanford, which had looked awful in its opener in Evanston. The Ramblin’ Wreck from Georgia Tech were in need of an engineer after failing to fire in South Bend.
And we’re all hoping, if only for his own sake, that Bret Bielema down in Razorback Country would just keep his mouth shut from now on, unless he’s yelling, “Wooooooooo Pig Sooooooey!”
They’ve postponed b-ball obsession for another week along the Banks of the Wabash. TD Jesus is smiling. But the ACC looks like it’s going to have its face pressed against the outside of the candy store looking in, come Playoff time, while extolling its hoop excellence to any sports fan who might listen.
As for last weekend, prediction-wise, I, uh, failed to rally though there was some improvement from the week before. Which is a faint boast indeed. The locals let me down. Cards, Cats and Toppers fell when I thought they’d be swell. UCLA bested the Mormons and Northwestern tormented the Blue Devils. 2-3 for the weekend leaves me still just on the upside of .500 for the season at 8-7.
But matters are now beginning to come clear — perhaps — in the world of college pigskin, if not the QB situation along the banks of the Olentangy or on the Belknap campus.
This week’s primo selections:
Cincinnati @ Memphis State. Call this one the Wish We Could Be In The Big League ACC Like Our Former AAC Mate Louisville Bowl. The Bearcats stumbled so far only against the resurgent, undefeated Temple Owls, which is nothing to be ashamed of this cwwaaazy season. And their QB Gunner Kiel is a former future Fighting Irish Heisman QB. Tommy Tuberville can coach ’em up. Memphis State is probably the best performing team you aren’t paying attention to.1 Coming off a stunning and generally ignored 10-3 campaign and bowl W over BYU, Justin Fuente’s Tigers are 3-0 including a W at Bowling Green, a legit proud accomplishment, given that the Falcons battered Maryland, and will grab another B1G scalp for its totem pole this weekend @ Purdue. The Tigers rank in the Top 20 in the land in Points Scored, Rushing Yards and Passing Yards. As any of a number of cliche-prone announcers would opine, “That’s some kinda offense.” This battle is the ESPN Thursday Night Game. Both these lesser thans are hoping to impress the country and the already haves. The game’s in the moldy ol’ Liberty Bowl. They’ll be dancin’ more than usual along E.P. Blvd. at Graceland.
UCLA @ Arizona. RichRod’s Wildcats are averaging a 3d best in the land 54 ppg. The caveat: The trio of schleppers they’ve conquered thus far are Roswell State Aliens, Tombstone A&P Earps and the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Dept Intramural team, known in the barrio as the Head Bashers. That noted, QB Anu Solomon’s stats are still impressive. 71/104. 10 TDs. No picks. Arizona is coming off a ten W campaign, but haven’t bested the Bruins during Rodriguez’s reign. UCLA’s three victories have come against stiffer competition, the Mormons and UVa’s Tommy Jeffs included. Precocious Rookie QB Josh Rosen is getting a lot of ink, but the Westwooders have loads of star power, most especially RB Paul Perkins and Myles Jack of All Trades. The Bruins might be derailed on their hoped for collision course with the playoffs. Life in the PAC12 is as dangerous as hanging at the OK Corral when the Clantons and Earps have dropped by. Buuuuuuut, Jim Mora’s minions muscle through on Saturday Night Prime Time.
Tennessee @ Florida. So far so good in the Butch Jones Era. Think the Vols faithful are still distraught they didn’t land Charlie Strong, who apparently likes his orange, Burnt as opposed to Big. Tennessee is young and still a might wobbly, but they’re on the make, hellbent to recapture SEC and national relevance. Former U of L assistant Jim McElwain might not be happy with his Gators play or attitude. But they are undefeated, and the W in Lexington didn’t come easy. Aaaaaaaaaaaand, the Gators have a not so shabby ten game win streak over the Volunteers. Is Big Orange ready to make the Big Leap that the Big Blue couldn’t last Saturday? Yup.
Missouri @ Kentucky. Meanwhile the BBN is looking for their Cats to harvest a program accelerating W over somebody not named South Carolina. The Cats are ofer Mizzou, since the Tigers entered the league. None have been close. The Tigers are looking for their third SEC East title in a row. How odd does that sound? But have done nada so far this campaign to indicate readiness to do so, or match last year’s 11-3 success. Meanwhile, all UK needs to do is stop harkling and farkling on O come crunch time. Yeah, I know, easier said than done. But, despite last Saturday’s disappointment, Kentucky does seem on the cusp of breaking on through to the other side. Will it happen Saturday night? Methinks Kentucky’s chances are mo’ better than Mizzou’s.
Samford @ Louisville. Given U of L’s, uh, disappointing start, I’m reminded of the catch phrase uttered often by Chester A. Riley on “Life of Riley,” a sitcom of my youth. “What a revolting development this is.” And the L1C4 Nation should be glad — Insert gratuitous names sound alike joke here — Louisville is playing Samford’s Bulldogs, not the Stanford Cardinal. Frankly, Samford’s fans should be scared, very very scared. Should U of L somehow falter, Cardinal fans should be scared, very very scared. But, the Cards will chalk up 1st W of season, before jumping back into boil, boil, toil and trouble.
— Seedy K