There really are not a lot of matters left worth contemplating about the 2018 University of Louisville football team, which is on a collision course with 2-10, the only variable being the rest of the schedule hasn’t been played yet.
But a question did pop up at Seedy K Tower, where, because of my knee thing, I was forced to watch the game on TV with long time compatriot Doc.
After the Cards scored on the opening drive of the game for the first time this season, but then surrendered 21 straight in ten minutes or so, Doc opined, “If I was Tyra, I’d fire Petrino right now.”
To which, I replied, “OK, but who you gonna name interim coach?”
Gallows humor ensued.
Little Nicky? Uh, I don’t think so.
Chris Klenakis? Well, hard to fire up the troops from the hoosegow.
BVG? I. Don’t. Think. So. More about him in a bit.
Then the real riffing started.
One of the Redmons? Bob, who coached at Male? Chris, former Cardinal QB and NFLer? Patriarch Lloyd, may he rest in peace?
He wasn’t the only suggestion who would be leading the troops from the Cloud. Doc mentioned Mario Cheppo, a member of the ’57 Sun Bowl squad.
I offered Coach Paulie Miller. He was the successful Flaget leader, who was thought to be the heir apparent to Frank Camp, when he retired back in the day. When Lee Corso arrived instead, Miller retired from the game and won the race for Court Clerk. His Christmas parties are legendary. (Trust me on this one, his holiday gatherings were the Mother of All Wassail.)
As for the living, Stefan LeFors’ name came up. A bold choice, the former Cardinal signal caller has led his Christian Academy Centurions to a state crown.
Given that any replacement outside the current staff would need to be free to do take it on, the voting narrowed to one. (I sent out a text to the Cardinal cognoscenti for more input.)
Garnering the most votes: Howard Schnellenberger.
At 84, he’s lost a bit of his piss and vinegar, is somewhat infirm, but at least could muster enough passion to maybe, perhaps, possibly stir up the troops. Well, not really, but I’m sure he still gives great press conference.
But, to state the obvious, this season is burnt toast.
The situation was concisely stated by The Professor, who with his gang, was among the few faithful in the house. At least until the end of the 3d, when they, huge fans as they are, realizing life is too short, could take no more.
“I wouldn’t want to be Vince Tyra right now.”
* * * * *
As I watched Wake Forest rack up more yards against U of L than Alabama, which may be the best college football contingent ever, I wondered if there wasn’t more to the deplorable defensive ineptitude than the lack of coaching by Peter Sirmon and Brian Van Gorder?
(Wouldn’t we love to see Third and Grantham on the sidelines, especially coaching Charlie Strong’s recruits?)
Louisville’s present DC and his successor simply aren’t very good coaches. Then again, one must observe, neither are most of their charges. Petrino recruits.
Looking like Saquon Barkley, former future Cardinal — until Petrino pulled his scholly — Matt Coburn rambled pretty much unmolested for 243 yards on 20 totes, including TD scampers of 74 and 56.
* * * * *
To reuse a paraphrase, there is Trouble here in River City. With a capital T, and that rhymes with P and that stands for . . .
. . . oh, you can fill in the blank.
— Seedy K