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Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week X

Here’s what I learned from last week’s college football results.

Other than, that is, the cream is starting to rise to the top, other than fanbases are trying to figure out how their faves can capture that magic number of six victories and whether they want to and can afford to pack up the camper and drive all the way to the Great Northern Plains during snow season to watch their teams battle on blue turf in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, other than I’m truly grateful that Scott Satterfield is the coach of my school.

I learned that Mizzou’s terrible loss in NashVegas to Vandy was no fluke. They were blistered by the Cats. I learned that Scott Frost isn’t quite the pigskin prestidigitator the Husker Nation thought he’d be. At least yet. Also that Mack Brown can still coach.

SMU, North Carolina and Louisville were victorious as I predicted. Nebraska and Missouri were not.

3-2 on the weekend pushed me to 31-16 for the season. Which brings us to a curious Week X, during which the following noteworthies will not be playing: Louisville, Kentucky, Alabama, LSU, Ohio State, Penn State, Minnesota and Oklahoma.

It just seems odd, doesn’t it, that all those schools — and I’m sure there are others I’ve missed — are taking the same Saturday off at the beginning of November?

But there will be battles, and I’m here to advise which teams shall prevail.

The winners:

Kansas State @ Kansas. It is the cockamamie nature of the sport that this 117th edition of the Sunflower Showdown kind of all of a sudden has a bit of luster to it. At least pour moi, and I’m the one sitting at the keyboard. It’s not 1987 anymore — Tell me about it — for that’s the year KU entered at 0-8, and K State at 1-7. Rock Chalk Jayhawk has been inarguably the worst P5 team in the sport for years now. Maybe decades. Oh for the halcyon days of program breaker extraordinaire Charlie Weis. Then along came Grass Eatin’ Les Miles, whose charges won at Boston College, almost beat the Longhorns, and bested  Texas Tech last weekend in a battle of b-ball powers, young and old. Cranky ol’ Bill Snyder finally stepped down in the Other Manhattan, in somewhat of a snit since the school didn’t name his offspring to replace him. Instead the powers that be wisely selected four time FCS champ at North Dakota State Chris Kleiman, who already has a Sooner scalp on his totem pole of Ws in his first season in purple. Despite a post upset Oklahoma letdown, the gang dressed Princely wins.

Virginia @ North Carolina. Is the much chattered about ACC Coastal now a meme? I don’t know. I’m not really sure what a meme is, other than something millennials talk about all the time. I’m a lot of things, but no millennial. What that conference division is though is this: C R A Z Y. Two schools are 3-2 in the conglomeration, two are 2-2 and two are 2-3. Only Georgia Tech seems a non contender. I even read somewhere how a wag spent a bunch of time figuring out how the six could end up in a tie. All of which wackamundo is why I’ve put this otherwise mediocre battle on the board, Preseason favorite UVa has lost three of four and has a hobbled QB and star defender who will sit the first half. Mac Brown’s Tar Heels famously bested South Carolina and Miami to open the season, then fell thrice in a row, and have won 2 of their last 3, beating rival Duke last time out. The game’s at Kenan Memorial in Chapel Hill, allegedly one of the most bucolic venues in the land. Baby Blue becomes bowl eligible with a W.

SMU @ Memphis State. I am so so very sure that, by the end of Game Day, which will be broadcasting, I suppose, from Beale Street, we will have had plenty enough of Rendezvous rib adulation, shots of Sun Studio and, of course, the gratuitous reverence for Elvis. (If they’re really cool, they’ll set up at Graceland. Or, inside 706 Union Avenue.) The over/under on mentions of Colonel Tom Parker is 2. Take the under. Then, making a day of it, ABC Prime Time will be televising the AAC battle from the Liberty Bowl. Herbie won’t even have to fly to get there. SMU, as we know, remains among the nation’s undefeated. The Tigers have dropped only one, but barely escaped Tulsa last time out. Looking ahead, were ya, M State? It’s frankly hard to pick against the home team in what will surely be a tight game. But the image of Dana Kirk still gives me the creeps. The Tigers pull a Darius Washington at the end, missing a FG to lose. (Forgive the hoops references, simply can’t help myself.)

Oregon @ Southern Cal. How dysfunctional must it be in the offices of the Athletics Department at the University of O.J. Simpson? Plenty, it would appear. Coach Clay Helton was atop the Dead Man Walking list to start the season. His Trojans are 5-3 overall, but a heady 4-1 in league play and tied at the top of the South with the Utes. (Who themselves have a big one this weekend at UDub.) Helton is still believed to be a goner after the season. Unless, one must surmise, he guides his troops to Pasadena for the Rose Bowl. After that opening L to Auburn, the Quack have not been bested, though last weekend they escaped because Washington State’s Mike Leach appeared to have left his meds back at the team hotel. If you haven’t noticed, I’m a Duck fan. It’s too late to stop now.

Georgia vs. Florida (Jacksonville). Does it get any more SECish than this annual neutral site brouhaha? The World’s Larges Outdoor Cocktail Party. (Guess they’ve never been to the Kentucky Derby.) UGA XXXXXXXXVVIII. Gator Chomp. #6 in the land vs. #8 in the land. I swear, Brad Nessler’s going to sound like Verne Lundquist.  Or Lindsay Nelson. It’s Bronconagurskius’s game day decision. Florida’s only blemish: LSU. Geogia’s only loss: South Carolina. Ouch. Kirby Smart’s made some not very smart in game decisions. Dan Mullen still has his detractors, though this year’s contingent has “overachieved.” Now with but one L apiece in the conference’s Eastern Division, the winner becomes the fave to play the Bayou Bengals or Crimson Tide for league crown. Will the fans be rabid? Nah, game doesn’t really mean much. Yuk, yuk. Gators.

— Seedy K

 

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week IX

I remember being at some party back in the day, and there was a fellow I didn’t know who had obviously been trying to hook up to no avail with an attractive lady, whom I also didn’t know, but very much intended to try and meet.

“I’ve been trying to get in touch with you,” he told her as I eavesdropped. “But you never return my calls.”

“Listen,” she replied, “if your phone doesn’t ring, it’s me on the line.”

She turned and walked away.

Which is how I felt — kinda — after another perfecto weekend, my second in the last three weeks, third of the season.

Did I hear from either of my arch nemeses, Badger Billy or Doppelgänger Boris, offering some props?

Of course not. Mum was obviously the word.

(And, should I deign to mention the latter’s name again, it will simply be Boris. The rest is too unwieldy and umlautian.)

I was laying in wait for Badger Billy, had he reached out. He would have given me shit as usual for picking another slate of easy games. Even though Oregon was an underdog at UDub, and Michigan really needed a W in State College, and almost came back and got it.

Then I’d have said, “Hmmm, yeah, I guess I could have picked your Badgers, the biggest sure thing on the board over the Fightin’ Illini.”

Mic I didn’t get a chance to drop.

So, yeah, 5-0 pushes me to 28-14 for the season, a hefty 67% on the correctitude meter.

This week’s winners: Continue reading Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week IX

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week VIII

Realizing that much of the time — some would say most all the time — my predictions are less than estimable, I try to keep this weekly exercise you are reading as entertaining as my feeble wordsmithery can provide.

So, about sundown last Saturday, an idea for this lede came to mind.

The week got off to a less than auspicious beginning, on Wednesday no less, when App State two-stepped out of my beloved bayou country with a W in Lafayette. Boomer Sooner confirmed it presently holds title to the Red River, and that it has some D to go with that O, and it was Horns Down in Dallas.

I had a feeling after those two miscues that my projection of Khalil Tate into the Heisman discussion with an Arizona W later over UDub was delusional. And so, it came to pass.

Kentucky was down at the half to the Razorbacks, and it looked like my only hope for a W on the weekend was my Cardinals, in whom I had full faith they’d indeed down Wake Forest.

So I would have been 1-4 had Woooooo Pig Sooey held on, and a noted Harry Nilsson tune came to mind, and how I could riff on how one isn’t the loneliest number when the 1(one) is your favorite squad. (FYI, Three Dog Night didn’t write it, they just had a big hit with it.)

Buuuuut, even that didn’t work out. Kentucky prevailed, causing the entire membership of the Little Rock QB Club to call an emergency session to figure out a way to provide one Robert Petrino in Exile a second second chance.

So, 2-3 it was but a few days after a perfecto. 23-14 on the season is 62% correct. Not bad, but, as is always the case, I expect to be back totally on track this weekend, after a slight careening off the rails.

This week’s winners: Continue reading Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week VIII

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week VII

Before moving on to this coming weekend’s predictionary proclamations, let’s take the traditional one last look, shall we, at last week’s results?

I believe it would be prudent and informative.

Cincinnati ✔︎

Nebraska ✔︎

Florida ✔︎

Liberty ✔︎

Louisville ✔︎

Pulling out the slide rule — I remain old school in some regards, most regards actually — let’s do the math. Five predictions. Five winners.

My oh my, seems after all the tabulations have been calculated that I was 5 for 5, which is, no rounding up necessary, 100%.

As the U of L Cardinal broadcaster of my youth Uncle Ed Kallay would say, “You can’t get much better than that.”

Which brings my season stats to 21-11, and, rounding up, that means I’ve been 66% correct for the campaign. 65.625% if you’re picking nits.

Just sayin’.

This weekend’s winners: Continue reading Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week VII

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week VI

I just read an article about The Bear at theathletic.com.

No, not the revered in Alabama Mr. Houndstooth. I’m talking Chris Fallica, the prognostication savant from The World Wide Leader’s “Game Day.”

What I would note is that despite his lofty reputation, he is only 8-6-1 for the season in his predictions, while yours truly, despite a second 2-3 weekend in a row and third of the campaign, stands taller at 16-11 overall.

So, I would just point out to my aggressively antagonistic commentariat that 59% — c’est moi — is better than 57%.

Don’t want to hear about point spreads. Shut your mouths. Talk to the hand. Team with most points wins. Other team loses.

What I/we learned last weekend: PJ Fleck is the B10’s real coach on the rise, not former future U of L mentor Jeff Brohm. Which Boilermaker decision maker called a stupid pass play before the half against the Golden Gophers, allowing Minnesota to go an additional 7 ahead at the break. Trojan Clay Helton remains on the Dead Man Walking list. Kentucky obviously was confused about whom and where they were playing, because the Wildcats never posted in Columbia to meet the Gamecocks.

And that this year’s fortunes of the Louisville Cardinals shall be revealed these two coming weekends, as we got to watch them play those two foes BC and Wake who meet last time out.

And, yes, it turns out Nittany Lions over Terps was a gimme. So, I’ll own it. But still take the W with impunity.

This week’s winners: Continue reading Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week VI

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week V

Sometimes the Great Greek God of Pigskin Bronconagurskius giveth.

Sometimes he taketh away.

Last weekend was the latter.

After Boise State grounded Air Force on the blueturf, and Wisconsin pummeled the Wolverines like a butcher tenderizing flank steak, the kid was hopeful, then triple-teamed, chop blocked and clipped. Ole Miss, UK and the Cards all fell.

The fields in Oxfordtown, Starkville and Tallahassee were littered with the chinstraps of the vanquished.

Sigh.

So it was a less than spectacular weekend of predictioneering. 2-3. But the season tally remains six games above .500 at 14-8.

Undaunted at this minor setback, a mere blip on the screen signifying nothing, I forge ahead.

This week’s winners: Continue reading Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week V

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week I

But for the hustle of Coach Scott Satterfield’s new favorite football player — Rainbow Warrior DL Manly Williams — Khalil Tate, a former future Heisman hopeful, would have crossed Aloha Stadium’s goal line with zeros on the clock, giving Arizona a chance to beat Hawaii in OT.

And, more than incidentally, give the kid here a shot to go 2-0 with his Week 0 picks. Alas, it was not to be, forcing me to savor only Florida overcoming a serious case of 3d & Grantham on Miami’s final drive to survive.

So, one up, one down. 1-1=0. Which is poetically par for Week 0.

It’s early. Nobody’s in mid season form yet. Except the Ol’ Ball Coach, whose wry, bemused smile when Feleipe Franks threw a 1st Down pick late was the highlight of the weekend.

Enough foolishness. College pigskin kicks it in gear for real this weekend.

This week’s winners: Continue reading Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week I

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week 0

Before diving in with this week’s winners, I feel compelled to advise I simply cannot get my hands around either the concept or the designation “Week 0?”

Who came up with this strange moniker for this opening college football weekend? Some ESPN assistant producer’s kindergartner?

Even the Google can’t give an answer.

“Ice Station Zero.” Now that makes sense. The rescue mission ’68 flick featured not only Rock Hudson and Ernest Borgnine, but also the GOAT Jim Brown. Who was then only 32 years old and retired from the NFL yet could still crush Dick Butkus.

(Since I’ve been corrected by an eagle eyed reader, advising that the film’s actual title is “Ice Station Zebra,” thereby undermining my shtick, allow me this addendum.) “Less than Zero” Now that makes sense. The cinema version of too much drugs among the rich and famous in Hollywoodland.

“Zero Sum” I also understand. Or, think I do. Though please don’t ask for an explanation. I’m not the greatest at arithmetic.

“Love Minus Zero/ No Limit.” It’s 60’s Dylan fawning over his bride Sara during his finest years of wordsmithery. Thinking about that title for a second allows it to come clear. Somewhat.

But Week 0. Weak.

Anyway, what the arrival of, ahem, Week 0 means is there’s college football to be viewed.

As for that Saturday evening dinner engagement your significant other is planning with the new neighbors. Fuhgettaboutit.

All of which means the triumphant, heralded return of the highly analytical, insanely accurate, vigorously heralded, most intensely dissected, and sooner or later award winning college football predictioneering on the interweb: Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostication. Continue reading Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week 0

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Championship Week

Wouldn’t it be boffo if all the leagues were choosing a CFP participant this weekend.

Power 5. Group of 5. Add two at large teams. 12 schools total. Seed four. Or, even better 6 at large teams. 16 total.

Still don’t understand how it’s OK at second level and not at first? Sigh.

Anyway. That pontification helped me hold off, for a few moments anyway, admitting I regressed last weekend, hitting only two of five correctly. UK and UCF came through. Michigan, West Virginia and Washington State let me, and their fans, down.

It’s been that kind of up and down campaign. Yet I’m still way above .500, at 39-26 for the year. And ever optimistic that the picks below are the correct ones. Continue reading Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Championship Week

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week XIII

Count me among the many members of the punditocracy who have misunderestimated the Central Florida Knights. A/K/A in some circles as the UCF Knights.

Yeah, sure, they’ve won oh so many in a row, on a collision course with a second undefeated campaign in a row. But, you know, whom have they beaten?

OK, #7 Auburn last year in the Peach Bowl, but really, any other foe of substance?

Other than sneaky good Temple and ACC Coastal leading Pitt?

Well, yes, Cincy in Saturday Night Prime Time.

Which caught me by surprise, and resulted in my only prognosticatory miscue last weekend, because Notre Dame slaughtered Syracuse as I predicted, Kentucky survived Middle Tennessee, NC State had no problems with the Cardinals, and previously 2-8 UCLA upended Southern Cal, A/K/A USC.

Central was quick to the ball, hit hard and remains innovative on O. If only there were an eight team playoff, so they could get a chance to defend the Knights national championship for real.

Sigh.

Anyway, I was 4-1 for last weekend, improving my season mark to 37-23, heading into rivalry weekend, where there are a lot more questions to be answered than whether Urban Meyer’s heath and well being can survive the tension of a Wolverine visit to the Horseshoe?

Here are some of the answers in advance: Continue reading Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week XIII