Bobby’s Back: Petrino, Part Deux

cardfootballAbsent some egregious miscalculation on Tom Jurich’s part, some chink in his armor worn as Supreme Commander Cardinal Nation, some rejection of his aura of absolute authority, U of L’s Athletic Council, or whatever that lay board is called, shall later this morning rubber stamp the selection of Bobby Petrino to return as Cardinal football coach.

Press conference to follow. During which there shall be a display of contrition like none other. Much shall be made of the vetting process. Homage shall be paid to Petrino’s pater, to whom Louisville’s AD has previously displayed fealty.

Fan reception to follow. For a meet and greet with the new coach, whose handshake and smile shall resonate like that of Alex in “A Clockwork Orange.” After the resocialization process, of course.

* * * * *

Hey, ye Nagging Nabobs of Negativitude, deal with it.

Bobby’s back.

In case some of Brian Setzer’s lyrics got lost as you were dancing around the room in your frayed 2007 Orange Bowl t-shirt, here are just a few highlights.

“Well c’mon, man, I hear that Bobby’s back/ From being upstate/ He learned his lesson, so they say/  Well I guess we’ll wait and see.”

And, even more salient, “Bobby’s back, maybe for good this time.”

* * * * *

Last week, when I was still doubtful Charlie Strong would be in Austin’s Heritage Boots this afternoon, buying some rattlesnake skin footwear, I did opine that Bobby Petrino would be a likely successor, should Strong secede.

petrinoI received more than a few pieces of correspondence, the gist of which was, “Whatdafu are you talking about?” and “You been smokin’ weed again?”

The answer to the latter is no. As for the previous stream of comments, well, I know that Jurich and Petrino had reached some rapprochement. That somehow TJ had become one of Petrino’s support group in the aftermath of that not so little motorcyclular peccadillo in Razorback Country.

I also know Jurich to be a pragmatist.

Forgetting all the peripherals,1Jurich surely saw this as the bottom line: Bobby Petrino is clearly the best proven football coaching commodity out there. He is an offensive genius. He’s been a winner on the field everywhere he’s been at the collegiate level.

Plus, if one’s contrition is genuine,2 we are a forgiving culture.

If Bobby Petrino hasn’t been legitimately and deeply chastened by his recent history, he will indeed prove to be the sociopath many feel they observed before. Lord help us. On the other hand, it is more likely that he will be grateful for this second chance, and, therefore, less likely to follow his previous inclinations. To wit, to say to himself, “Oh, look at that grass over there, it’s really really green.”

* * * * *

I am conflicted.

I am also surprised.

I was frankly expecting Tom Jurich to move in a fresh direction.

But he, like me, wants to just win, baby. And Bobby Petrino has proven he does just that.

Plus, if Petrino comes in, dominates the ACC as he might, the presence of Clemson and Florida State notwithstanding, and stays for awhile, Tom Jurich’s authority and reputation shall be greater than ever.3

* * * * *

The scuttlebutt is that Clint Hurtt will stay on the staff.

Double your pleasure, double your fun on that second chance thing.

There’s also rumor & innuendo that attempts shall be made to hire former Miami head coach Randy Shannon. Under Larry Coker at the U, he won the Broyles Award that goes to the best D Coordinator of the year. He’s now the LB coach at Arkansas. He maintains strong connections to the fertile south Florida recruiting fields.

It shall be most interesting to see if that development comes about.

* * * * *

“Bobby’s back/ Maybe for good this time/ Got some catchin’ up to do/ Some crazy score to settle.”

— Seedy K

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