Even if it was FCS powers Sam Houston State meeting Eastern Washington on the latter’s oh so very U*G*L*Y red AstroTurf. Aren’t their ordinances against such foolishness?
Those rivals have met three times previously, with the Texans capturing all.
Not in this season’s college pigskin opener however. The home team prevailed big, when so many yellow flags were thrown at the Lone Star State visitors, they have to change school colors.
But, this week, ah yes, this week, the real deal commences. In the Football Bowl Division, where a .500 record, or one real close to it, gets a school to the Advocare Duck Commander Weedeater Cumquat Bowl.
But those extra games are months away.
Here, in no particular order, are the stories I’ll be following this regular season.
At least until Heisman winner, Famous Jameis Winston shoplifts a rack o’ ribs at his local Pork & Slaw.
1) Off the field, will Winston make it through the entire season without being involved in some high crime or misdemeanor? On the field, can he pull off the double? In other words, does he tap into his inner Archie Griffin, or his inner Biebs?
2) Will Ohio State’s Urban Meyer lose his first regular season game along the Olentangy, or notch his first post-season W for the Buckeyes? A senior tuba player awaits the outcome for possible punctuation.
3) Can Nick Saban and his Alabama Crimson Tide break their onerous two game losing streak, with a win over West Virginia next Saturday in the Georgia Dome? Convicted tree poisoner, Harvey “Roll Damn Tide” Updyke is on suicide watch.
4) Will master recruiter Mark Stoops get his first W at Kentucky over a school more formidable than Tennessee Martin, Ohio U or Louisiana Monroe? Matt Jones and some fellow fans just returned from the Bahamas would like to know.
5) Will there come a moment during U of L’s season that Will Gardner is performing so well, some wise ass in the crunch zone, after his 14th brewski, wonders aloud, “Who was that guy who played quarterback last year?”
6) Will James Franklin please the Nittany Lion faithful in State College, as much as he did those on West End Ave in NashVegas?
7) Will Bobby P’s Louisville best Clemson, Florida State and/or Notre Dame?
8) Will Duke remain the new power in the ACC?
9) Will Charlie Strong survive the media storm at Texas enough to coach the Hook ’em Horns back to respectability?
10) Will Brady Hoke need to be calling Acme Movers after another mediocre season, roaming the sidelines of The Big House?
11) Will Rutgers be Indiana’s only W in the Big Ten?
12) Will Oregon’s Ducks finally be the last team quacking?
13) Is Utah State’s Chuckie Keeton destined to stealthily jump to the head of the Heisman pack?
14) What happens to the playoff if there are 4 one-loss power conference schools, and Rakeem Cato-led Marshall runs the table with an average score of 48-7?
15) Whither Cincinnati, now mentored by Tommy Tuberville, though the true cradle of coaches in the last decade with Brian Kelly now at Notre Dame, Mark Dantonio at Michigan State and Butch Jones recruiting like he’s Bruce Pearl at Tennessee?
16) Will Lane “What am I doing stuck at LAX without a ride home” Kiffin last the year in Tuscaloosa, or be bbqed like another slab of Dreamland ribs?
17) What shall become of Wilie Taggert, should South Florida, considered a sleeping giant for too long now, go 2-10 again?
Pop Quiz Interlude: Can you name the coach at Texas San Antonio?1
18) How many teams make it to a bowl game, despite finishing the year with a losing record?
19) Will Bo Pelini don a new sweatshirt for the Nebraska opener against Florida Atlantic?
20) Will Notre Dame actually dismiss the four student athletes who are charged with violating school rules?
Coming Tuesday: Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week I.
— Seedy K