Hoopaholic’s Gazette: ??, ??? & More ????

Yb-balles, boyz and girlz, it’s that wacky, cwazee, off the charts time o’ the annum, we like to dub “Championship Week.”

Which “Week” really lasts ten or eleven days. But in a college sports universe where the Big Ten has, what, fourteen schools, and the Big East has members residing in Milwaukee, Chicago, Omaha and Cincy, and the Big South really ain’t so big — Sorry, Longwood — there’s no harm no foul when it comes to nomenclature.

Whatever we call it, we know it to be a prelude to the upcoming Sunday a week, a holy day on the calender known as Selection, and the Madness of March which follows.

Despite a pall of inevitability that pervades the upcoming proceedings like some hoopsular vortex, they still have to play the games. Which means questions abound.

Here are many, if not all of them:

Is it real, or is it merkin? I am told that Joe Lunardi was so flummoxed by the reaction to his hairpiece, that he had a co-host pull it to confirm that the disarray atop his head is real hair. I am still of the strong opinion that He Who Invented Bracketology a/k/a He Who Becomes Irrelevant At 6:00 pm Selection Sunday is still a mop top. But, the question remains unanswered.

What did he know? Mike Krzysewski, come on down. Take a seat here next to our recently calibrated polygraph, we got a question for you about your most recent ex-Blue Devil.

What does Bobby Knight think of the Cats chances? Okay, it’s a trick question. I think I speak for all of us, when I advise we could care less what Knight thinks about UK. Or, for that matter, anything else.

Quién es más macho, MAC, MAAC o MEAC? Does chastened Stevie Mas have another run in him with his Jaspers? Will North Carolina Central’s Eagles roll into Dayton for a play in tilt, as the league rep, blasting through the conference tourney as unblemished as they did the regular season? If they earn a chance, can the Buffalo Bulls do better in the NCAAs, than the Buffalo Bills did in four straight Super Bowls?

Will those not so cuddly anymore Zags zig their way through the bracket to the last weekend of the season? Could Kyle Wiltjer really get a chance to show his new stuff against his old team? Peripheral question: Would we love to see a Gonzaga pas de deux with Kentucky at the Dance?

Whither Indiana? Or, should that more correctly read withering Indiana?

Is there a Shabazz in the house? Can another Where Did They Come From? win six straight for the second straight year?

If so, who is the player that can hoist his teammates on his back and carry them to One Shining Moment? Louisvillian/ Buckeye D’Angelo Russell? Cardinal Wayne Blackshear? Terp Melo Trimble? Bulldog Kellen Dunham? Gael Brad “Where’s” Waldow? Ute Delon Wright?

When did he know it? Step on up to the mic, Coach K, this nurse here has a hypodermic of truth serum, then we gotta question for you.

Will Jim Boeheim watch the tourney, or be hanging at some sandy beach with that lovely Lexingtonian he’s married to?

If Wichita State gets hosed, either on Selection Sunday, or by the zebras in the Round of 32, will the Koch Brothers simply buy the NCAA?

Didn’t Rick Barnes used to be a good coach? That was submitted by The Professor, ever inquisitve.

How has Kansas won every Big 12 title since James Naismith retired? And why does the league with a dozen in its title only have ten members?

Which State reaches the Summit? South Dakota State Jackrabbits or North Dakota State Bison?

Is IU’s AD really “bullish” on Tom Crean? Or, will the Hoosiers’ coach be roaming the sidelines next season in Ann Arbor with his brother in law?

Might U of L drop all the way to the 8 or 9 seed line? That was submitted by loyal reader, BlindLuck.

Which schools are the legitmate tourney darkhorses? Northern Iowa? West Virginia? Maryland? Baylor? Florida Gulf Coast? A directional school? A school that starts the tourney in Dayton?

Whatever happened to Andy Enfield? Did his Trojans really finish last in the PAC 12, a league that knows how to count? Is he really married to that hot gal?

Which schools make my Final Four Today? Must I answer that? This is about queries not answers? Okay, Kentucky, Villanova, West Virginia and Arizona.

— Seedy K

11 thoughts on “Hoopaholic’s Gazette: ??, ??? & More ????

  1. Fred, the fast break I was referring to was, as best I recall, 3 on 1, and Onuaku was wide open on the right, while the defender was right in TR’s grill. It came with 9:43 to play, and he made one of two FTs to knot the game at 48. But, specifics aside, we are in total agreement. After that play, in my notes, I wrote, “Throw the fucking ball!!!” It’s disgusting selfishness.

  2. Hey. HEY! What happened? You have had the Badgers in your Final Four all year. Why give up on them now Seedy? It is only going to make you look foolish later. Be a good Swami. Put them back where they belong.

  3. Rick Barnes has wasted more talent than the script writers on Baywatch.

    He must have dirty pix of some higher up in Texas’ administration. He couldn’t coach the Horns to a title in the JCC biddy ball league.

  4. The “one shining moment” backcourt may well be Dez ‘n’ Melo from Maryland. Great backcourts equal championship, and this Terp duo has what it takes. One other item, Seedy… (give me a moment while I strap on my helmet), no Duke in your Final Four? The Blue Devils are dangerous, and have a HoF coach. Plus urgency.

    My Final Four: Kentucky, Villanova, Duke and Maryland (?)

  5. Funny what I think of Duke these days. Had the usual hate for them, which started to ebb when we thrashed ’em on the way to the ’13 title and Coach K had such nice and gracious comments about the Cards. And I tend to root for teams in my own league, during the post season. Further softening. But I’m shifting back a bit. Something about Okafor’s “presence.” And, the whole what did you know, Coach K, and when did you know it, and why won’t you answer questions about your errant former player?

    Besides, they’re frosh dominated, despite the renaissance of Quin Cook.

    Maryland, as listed above, is a legit contenda for the Final Four.

  6. In the spirit of so many conferences where the number of members exceeds the number in the title, I think you should pick six team for the Final Four.

    I agree on Rick Barnes. Seems like his successes don’t match the talent he’s had. Kinda like whatshisname in Lexington.

  7. Crean’s buyout at IU is $11 mill. Don’t think he’s going anywhere..unless Johnny Mellencamp or Mark Cuban want to help them out. Money well spend IMHO. Tom hasn’t done much since he said goodbye to DWade @Marquette.

  8. West Virginia, the fifth-best team in the Big 12, in the Final Four? Is this a typo?
    By the way, in case you haven’t been paying attention, the mighty Mountaineers are four and five over their last nine games, which is probably enough to make Bob Huggins want to spew all over himself.
    Now, Kansas or Iowa State, I think, could make the Final Four along with Kentucky, Wisconsin and Wichita State or UVA.

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