After a long bleary-eyed weekend spent consuming far too much pigskin, and so very sure that the Texas Aggies, up 44-10, would not only hold on for a W, but would place yours truly on the plus side for the weekend prediction-wise, I turned off the telly and hit the hay.
Only to wake up in the morning to learn that A&M had blown the lead, that Josh Rosen apparently studied his playbooks if not his textbooks as well as Dan Marino’s fake spike to beat the Jets, and further that some knee jerk university trustee in the football-addled Lone Star state with nothing of more importance to think about, had already called for Kevin Sumlin’s ouster.
Which Aggie L sealed an ofer on my three upset specials. I felt like Man O’ War x 3.
Because, doofus that I am, and yet to find my rhythm on the season, I picked the Gators, forgetting that they were down about ten men, and foolishly picked against the Crimson Tide, forgetting that Saban never loses neutral site openers. Silly, silly, stupid me.
Thanks to the locals, Cards and Cats, I salvaged a 2-3 slate, which mediocrity lowered my season mark to 7-3.
Now chastened, and actually performing some research, minimal and cursory as it may be, I do not even glance in the rearview mirror, but am focused straight ahead.
Which is to advise here are five sure winners for Week II:
Georgia @ Notre Dame. Yes, unlike last week when I wasn’t paying attention, I’ve seen the injury report. Bulldog QB Jacob Eason shall not be donning his uni in South Bend. Which leaves the Georgia O in the immature hands of Jake Fromm, a heralded newcomer, but one who was playing high school ball this time last season. Even though for comparison, Eason threw for 300+ yards and a game winner in his first road start last season, that came against Mizzou. I’ve been to Columbia, Mo. South Bend it is not. The Irish shall also start a neophyte as signal caller, Brandon Wimbush. He threw for a couple TDs in the opening victory over Bill Cosby University. (Not App State, as I originally wrote for some odd reason. Brain fart. Thanks to loyal reader Wildcat for the correction.) But also had one picked off. This battle should provide the first hint whether Brian Kelly’s days at ND are numbered, or if he can stop looking furtively over his shoulder for a visit from the Grim Pigskin Reaper? I like the home team.
Indiana @ Virginia. Am I mentioning this game merely as an excuse to herald what former Wahoo coach Mike London did last weekend, when his current Howard Bison squad bested UNLV, in the biggest upset point spread-wise in the history of college football. Well, frankly, yes. Plus, I’ve got a lot of readers on the sunny side of the Ohio who love to read about their Hoosiers. And, to be fair, it will be interesting to see if IU is as good as it looked in the first half agains the mighty Buckeyes? Bronco Mendenhall’s inaugural season in Charlottesville didn’t turn out as auspiciously as the Jeffersonian fans would have liked. 2-10. This year’s opening W over William & Mary doesn’t reveal much, but is better than last year’s start, when UVa lost to Richmond by 17 as an 11 point fave. I believe IU will still be suffering the after effects of the second half thrashing suffered in the opener. UVa.
Nebraska @ Oregon. Mike Riley was a curious, a mediocre choice to replace Bo Pelini in Lincoln. He went 6-7 in his first season. His Huskers improved to 9-4 last campaign, but ended with a 30 point L to Iowa, and a two TD defeat to the Vols in the Music City Bowl. They opened with a less than scintillating escape against Arkansas State. Meanwhile Uni U. hasn’t been the same since Chip Kelly jumped ship. Willie Target, whose career has accelerated faster than one of those hot Benz AMGs, is now in charge in Eugene. They lit up Phil Knight’s scoreboard — 77-21 — in the opener against something called Southern Utah. QB Justin Herbert was 17/21 in the air. Royce Freeman scampered 150 yards on 23 carries. Those approach Glory Day numbers. Is the Quack Attack back? Perhaps. It’s surely gonna prevail on Saturday.
Eastern Kentucky @ Kentucky. Do I really waste your time by attempting humor in this space? Do I come with more Matt Elam jokes? No. And no. Cats. Easy.
Louisville @ North Carolina. The Tar Heels, turning it over three times, blew a couple leads, and lost to Cal at home in its opener. Which is to say the post-Trubisky era did not begin as positively as the few Baby Blue fans who actually care about football wanted it too. Which veiled reference to hoops-addled Tobacco Road reminds me that this might as well be called the Probation Bowl. No explanation necessary. But it is football. U of L’s opening W was far from emphatic. Mr. Heisman was hot. Most everybody else was not. Three timely picks by the Cards newly coordinated D offset 16 penalties and two fumbles inside Purdue’s Red Zone. This game has the word “TRAP” lettered all over it. The Cards are a TD + FG favorite. But I don’t consider the spread in my picks, because, well, because it’s my blog and I can do what I want. Cards escape.
— Seedy K
Uh, Seedy. You might want to check the Domer’s opponent last week. Trust me. It was not App State. Ever hear of Bill Cosby U?