Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week VII

Caller ID indicated it was Glorious Editor on the line. He was not a guy I’d been anxious to hear from.

With more than a bit of dread in my voice, I picked up, “Hello.”

“Hey, Seedy, this is Mike.”

“What’s up?”

“Well, getting right to it, we’ve got problems. The home office is wondering what’s going on with your weekly football predictions? My boss, not a guy you want to cross, trust me, was not in a good mood, screaming in the phone when he and I chatted, ‘Rutherford, what’s wrong with this guy, Seedy? After the dumbkopf left Alabama out of his preseason CFP, picking Wisconsin and Washington, for heavens’ sake, you assured me he was an expert and knows what the hell he’s doing. That he’d be fine. Well, he hasn’t picked more right than wrong since the second weekend of the season. My beloved calico WoodyBear could do a better damn job, and, despite her name, she hates football. Get this fixed immediately, Rutherford, or send that idiot packing.’ . . .

“. . . yo, Seedy you still on the line?”

“Uh, uh, yeah, Mike, I hear you.”

“Do you really hear me, Seedy? I’m a company man. If the home office is unhappy, I’m unhappy. Your worthless weekly picks and blather, which aren’t nearly as clever as you might think, are not cutting it.”

“I hear you, Mike.”

“Well, Seedy, hear me now and believe me later: Either you start showing some expertise or you are Sayonara. Adios amigo. Arrivederci. Auf wiedersehen. Yesterday’s tweet. Outtahere. Capeesh? You feelin’ me?

“One more thing, Seedy, you have no buyout. Understand?”

“But . . .”


This week’s picks:

Missouri @ Alabama. There are those readers among you, ones who are always willing to pick a fight, who will read the above then look at this game I’m considering and blast me on the fallacious premise that there’s absolutely no possible way the Crimson Tide can lose. That I’m predicting the victor of this battle just to fatten my winning percentage. In the name of journalistic transparency, let me advise that absolutely nothing could be further from the truth. Of course, Mizzou remains ofer the SEC on the season, but it’s early. And besides, I haven’t had the opportunity yet this year to extol the virtues of one of American’s great delicacies originating in Tuscaloosa, Dreamland BBQ. Some of you might point out that not only is the Crimson Tide steamrolling like no college football team ever, but it’s also Homecoming. All the more reason Bama might be tight and ripe for a comeuppance, says I. But, in a tough, closer than expected tussle, Nick wins again.

Army @ San Jose State. There are those readers among you, ones who are always willing to pick a fight, who will have read my lede, look at this game,be aware that The Long Gray Line is more than a two touchdown favorite and blast me on the fallacious premise that there’s absolutely no way West Point can lose. That I’m predicting a winner of this battle just to fatten my winning percentage. As I swear on the grave of Grantland Rice, absolutely nothing could be further from the truth. After the beatdown Georgia Tech laid on my favorite team last weekend, running that old school veer triple option, I’m simply fascinated with teams that rely on said offense, Army under the tutelege of Jeff Monken being one. There’s an article in the latest Sports Illustrated about the schemes and schools that use them, which has me even more intrigued. That Army is a prohibitive favorite hasn’t a thing to do with it. Nor does does the fact that San Jose State is winless against a rather mediocre schedule. On Brave Old Army Team.

Georgia Southern @ Texas State. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Read my opening to the previous two paragraphs. Note my response, to which I reiterate a ditto. You might even point out, if you pay enough attention to such minutiae, the Bobcats — that would be the home team — lost its opener, rather handily you would probably point out, to Rutgers. But no, I protest. The Sun Belt Eagles are among the progenitors of that run-centric offense with which I’m currently infatuated. See previous paragraph. So, I’m paying close attention. That the school from Statesboro is a 17 point favorite has nothing whatsoever to do with it, and I’m incensed that you would ever believe I’d be guilty of such cherry picking. GS gives TS the blues. Cue the Allman Brothers Band.

Iowa @ Indiana. The Hoosiers rarely get mentioned around here. At least until hoops starts, that is. But IU is 4-2, with a victory over UVa, which is more than my favorite team can boast. And played both Ohio State and Michigan State strong. At least for a bit anyway. The Hawkeyes are always tough, but never have been quite able to permanently break into the upper echelon. A loss to Wisconsin, atop their division in the Big Ten, is the only blemish for Kirk Ferentz’s squad, coming off a solid W last week over yet to improve Minnesota. The visitors are a better, more talented team. Yet the best team doesn’t always win. Especially on the road in a league game. On the flip side, every time IU gives a hint it might actually be getting better at football, the Hoosiers blow it. Hawkeyes. Yoo hoo, Archie.

Louisville @ Boston College. I have one story about a Cardinal game in Chestnut Hill, and of course I trot it out whenever the Cards head up that way. A year before U of L’s visit in the autumn of ’91, I’d been hit by a car while jogging. My leg still hadn’t healed properly, and while visiting Faneuil Hall the day before the game, it totally went out. So I spent the rest of the weekend in Beantown on crutches, which did not impede my gang from taking our leave of the game at halftime. Schnell’s Cards fell 33-3 that day, finished 2-9 on the year. I assuaged my depression by purchasing a very hip but very expensive shirt at Louie’s Boston on Newberry Street. It remains my favorite, and I wore it just last week to a concert. Do not feel it necessary to memorize this story. I’m sure I’ll repeat it the next time U of L plays football at BC. As for this year’s game. Let’s hope the Cardinals show better than in ’91. However they will not win. And two wins on the year is looking like a realistic possibility.

— Seedy K

8 thoughts on “Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week VII

  1. I am going to ramble a little bit, but I promise that there is a point to my rambling. Two years ago, my employer for whom I had toiled for over 20 years in Louisville offered me a lucrative promotion. The only problem was it required relocation to the corporate headquarters in Fairfield, Ohio just outside of Cincinnati. This was a deal breaker in my mind. Louisville is where I was born in 1964, and I had lived there my whole life. I asked them for a couple days to think about it. A couple days went by, and the senior VP who offered me the job grew impatient. He called me back and told me that I had enough time and he needed an answer the following morning. Feeling pressured, I made up my mind to turn it down. I called my best friend, who happens to be my ex-wife, and informed her of my decision. She said, “have you lost your mind? You have worked too hard for this. It would be a career killer to turn it down.” She urged me to sleep on it and reconsider. Unable to sleep that night, I drove out Bardstown Road from Fern Creek toward Bardstown. At the intersection of 31E and Virginia Avenue in Bardstown, “The Best of Times” by Styxx came on the radio. The decision was made. I took the job and moved to Fairfield.

    Which brings me to my point. Moving away from Louisville has been advantageous for two reasons. 1)There’s far fewer UK fans here than there is in Louisville; and 2) I have not had to watch up close as the U of L football and basketball programs imploded. Bobby has a long term contract and a huge buyout. U of L football will be inept for years to come, and will play before sparse crowds in a stadium that was needlessly expanded before this season. With basketball, Chris Mack was a home run hire. But if the testimony in New York this week alleging that former assistants Johnson and Fair offered money to recruits is proven to be true, they might as well give the keys to the KFC YUM Center to Dan Issel and tell him to find some foreign investors to buy an NBA team and move it to Louisville, because U of L won’t need the arena anymore. The death penalty will be coming. U of L basketball has been part of my life since 1975, and it’s demise is something that I am glad I won’t be in Louisville to witness.

  2. My hope is that the immediate firing of Jurich and Pitino upon revelations of the FBI stuff, and the dismissal of Ramsay, will inure to U of L’s benefit when it comes NCAA punishment time. One benefit to the testimony is that it totally undercuts Pitino’s claim for money.

  3. I think I know what you did here. I think I know what you did here. I think….

    …Now, for Mr. Norris’ comment—-yes, it is sad to contemplate the present condition of our flagship programs.

    In BBall, the fact that it seems certain that at least one of our asst. coaches was doling out $$$ to gain recruits stirs my stomach much more violently than any lap dance or strip tease to a player or potential recruit. Very UK’ish. And , I gotta think that the Cayuts indiscretions will soon come out screaming in the wash. If not, do away with all college sports. So, not just a death penalty for UofL but for all University Hoops—and I don’t think either will happen. Too much money involved both above and below the table.

    As for football, it seems like every single time we are ready to take the leap into the upper echelon of the sport, sh*t happens. Maybe it is not sustainable for our program for a lot of reasons, recruiting base being the primary culprit. But, I disagree with you about the need to expand the stadium and add to the Schnell. At the very least we finally look like a big time program. Now, we just have to have the will to fight through this and give the fans a reason to want to go to the games instead of finding reasons not to go—of which there are plenty right now.

    It is this—-a pitiful fan base–that may doom us to decades of mediocrity. We need someone to galvanize the card fans and make going to the games the event it should be 6-7 times per year. Remember, it was only 2 years ago that Lamar enthralled a nation and we basked in the beat down of FSU that showed us where we could take this if all the chips fell into place. I just hope that someone, coach, player or administrator comes along to get the juices reflowing. Go CARDS!

  4. “At the very least we finally look like a big time program.” Couldn’t agree with you more. The new expansion at night is awesome with a capital A ! The feel is, as you you say, big time and I love it. It may take that feel to carry me through the season but we’ll make it.

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