Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week 0

Before diving in with this week’s winners, I feel compelled to advise I simply cannot get my hands around either the concept or the designation “Week 0?”

Who came up with this strange moniker for this opening college football weekend? Some ESPN assistant producer’s kindergartner?

Even the Google can’t give an answer.

“Ice Station Zero.” Now that makes sense. The rescue mission ’68 flick featured not only Rock Hudson and Ernest Borgnine, but also the GOAT Jim Brown. Who was then only 32 years old and retired from the NFL yet could still crush Dick Butkus.

(Since I’ve been corrected by an eagle eyed reader, advising that the film’s actual title is “Ice Station Zebra,” thereby undermining my shtick, allow me this addendum.) “Less than Zero” Now that makes sense. The cinema version of too much drugs among the rich and famous in Hollywoodland.

“Zero Sum” I also understand. Or, think I do. Though please don’t ask for an explanation. I’m not the greatest at arithmetic.

“Love Minus Zero/ No Limit.” It’s 60’s Dylan fawning over his bride Sara during his finest years of wordsmithery. Thinking about that title for a second allows it to come clear. Somewhat.

But Week 0. Weak.

Anyway, what the arrival of, ahem, Week 0 means is there’s college football to be viewed.

As for that Saturday evening dinner engagement your significant other is planning with the new neighbors. Fuhgettaboutit.

All of which means the triumphant, heralded return of the highly analytical, insanely accurate, vigorously heralded, most intensely dissected, and sooner or later award winning college football predictioneering on the interweb: Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostication.

Thank ya, thank ya vury much. ‘preciate it. Blush. Hold your applause.

So, without further ado, let’s consider this weekend’s slim slate.

OK, a bit more a do. Besides the two BCS games, which shall be addressed momentarily, there are a couple of FCS battles. Villanova vs. Colgate. And Youngstown State vs. Samford, which will be on the World Wide Leader at 3:00 Saturday in case you really really can’t wait.

Which brings us to . . .

Miami (Fla) vs. Florida (Orlando). I guess it’s been a decade or so now since Dan Mullen replaced Bobby Petrino as college football’s Next Great Coach. His pretty good but not great 69-46 run at Cowbell State was enough to get him the Gainesville job after the less than satisfactory (to Gator fans) post-Urban skein of Muschamp, Durkin, McElwain, and Shannon. In Mullen’s first campaign, the Gators went 10-3 with a 26 point beatdown of the Wolverines in the Peach, despite the up and down travails of starting QB Feleipe Franks. Franks will be on the field for the first series Saturday. Meanwhile in Coral Gables, redshirt frosh Jarren Williams won rookie head coach Manny Diaz’s approval over N’Kosi Perry and Tate “Goodbye Columbus” Martell. Fans of The U are hoping the O is better this season than last year’s 7-6 squad. D wasn’t the issue a year ago, scoring points was. Will they be able to crack Todd Grantham’s aggressive schemes? Both schools have a ways to go to return to former glories. Florida is closer and will prove it in the opener Saturday night. The only question left is whether Orlando’s First Citizen — that would be Tiger Woods — will be in the house, since he didn’t qualify for the final tourney of the Fed Ex Cup?

Arizona @ Hawai’i. Did anybody have a more disappointing season in ’18 than Wildcat QB Khalil Tate? (OK, yes, the Louisville Cardinals, but we’re moving on from that in my burg.) Tate was on all the pre-season Heisman hopeful lists, and had alleged QB whisperer Kevin Sumlin coming in as new head man. Kerthunk. ‘Zona went 5-7, losing their finale to rival A State by a digit, when a victory would have meant a bowl spot. Sumlin, who had it all going at Houston, didn’t satisfy the voracious appetites in College Station. One might say he’s got some provin’ to do. The Rainbow Warriors also play. Year after year in relative mediocrity. They like to air it out. And last season saw QB Cole McDonald throw like a hundred TDs in his first few games. They finished 8-6, which meant they could host their home bowl game, but fell to Louisiana Tech, who didn’t let days lolling at Waikiki and surfing the Bonzai Pipeline and chowing down on Maui Chips get in the way of victory. Will Arizona get off Oahu unscathed? Yes.

So much for the hors d’oeuvres. Next week, the real feast begins.

— Seedy K

2 thoughts on “Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week 0

  1. As usual, Seedy, you have penned more hic cups than bellowed by a drunken Irishman on St. Paddies Day.

    Not understanding the concept of “week 0” is one thing; but calling Tiger Woods “Orlando’s First Citizen” when he lives in Melbourne another…thus your pigskin progs appear to be headed off yet another cliff….

    Traditionally, week one of the college football season falls on Labor Day weekend. There is a full slate of games and many “intersexual” tilts are arranged for TV that don’t involve Kat Powell or Heidi Fleiss. If you can remember back that far, my Cards regularly whooped up on your Cayuts on the first weekend of each season until the ACC/SEC mandated a move to the last game of the season for incestuous intra-state battles between ACC and SEC teams. Even then, and despite the “golden era” of Big Blew Football, the Cards still lead the series in NOV 3-2, despite Lamar’s questionable gift fumble and last years lay down after the whole UofL program took on water as CBP jumped on a $14M lifeboat once his dad died and he got caught yet again in another madam’s cookie jar.

    Shockingly, despite last years lay down after everyone this side of Trumps cabinet quit, the Cards still lead the modern series 15-10 and should have had (but for the bad call on Lamar’s gaff) a 7 game win streak going into last years sh*t show. My prediction is that CSS’s boys will resume their winning ways, if not in 2019, at least by 2020 and the entire world will be put back on its proper axis.

    For this week, both UFA and Miami have more question marks than a Sherlock Holmes novel. I expect a low scoring, turnover filled, hard hitting mess of a game. The recipient of the last turn over probably wins. Despite the fact that the Gators are in season 2 of the Mullin Reign, look for Miami to eke something out against our former DCord as the ‘Canes get an unexpected first down or TD against a blown third down coverage in crunch time. Ever see that before?

    As for H’ii vs. Arizona, who the h.e. double hockey stix knows? Depending on when ARiz arrives, the game will be won or lost at about 3:00 a.m. on Sunday. I expect that I will be one of the few still awake and watching it.

    1. Tiger did live in Windermere, which is essentially Orlando. Apparently he now lives in Jupiter, not Melbourne. It wasn’t the only thing I might have gotten wrong. The other matter is corrected.

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