I knew I was in trouble with last week’s marquee matchup, when I couldn’t find my replica Oregon Duck jersey to wear during the Quack’s battle with Auburn. Then I remembered I’d donated it along with some other garments to a halfway house in town.

The Ducks were ahead the whole way, but never put it away. Which allowed the War Eagles Next Great Bo to steal the W with :09 on the clock.

Other than that, my picks — Clemson, Memphis State, ND, and UK — did as I surmised they were supposed to.

4-1 for the weekend makes me 5-2 for the young season. 71%. That’s why the awards ought to be flowin’ in.

Another interesting weekend of college football, this.

Here are the winners:

LSU @ Texas. Awright, awright, awright, awright! The prop bet for Most Camera Time? Not Joe Burrow. Not Sam Ehlinger. Though the respective QBs will get a lot. My money’s on Matthew McConaughey. He’s the University of Texas’s MoC, you know. That would be Minister of Culture. True. Which means, among other ill defined duties, he gets to hang on the sideline even more than ever. As if that’s possible. What I’d really like to see is a debate between the actor, who always talks like he’s got mush in the back of his mouth, and Tiger coach Ed Orgeron, whom we all know eats a bowl of gravel every morning for breakfast. Straight up, no milk or berries added. That tete a tete would be a sound sensation. Seriously worthy of observing also, Hook ‘Em Horns vs. Bayou Bengals on the gridiron in Austin. As the good ol’ boys in QB Clubs everywhere are wont to say, “Big time college foooballll.” Burnt orange.

Nebraska @ Colorado. There is much ado this season about the SEC’s late-arrival-at-the-party decision to allow alcohol sales at games. Some schools dived right in, others allow it for the fat cats only in the sky boxes, others are on hold. My pal Badger Billy, for whom consuming beverages derived from hops is a serious matter — the guy will not quaff from a frozen schooner — advises that the beer drinkingest college football game he ever attended was in Boulder. The Buffs have a new coach, Mel Tucker. Whose debut W over instate rival Colorado State was punctuated by more than a few outbreaks of fisticuffs in the stands among the inebriated. The Huskers in Year II of the Scott Frost Era were less than impressive in their opener against Directional Alabama. Still, visitors prevail, and hope to escape flying Coors cans on the victory walk to the team bus.

Syracuse @ Maryland. I continue to hold a soft spot in my heart for University of Maryland athletics. But for their abrupt decision to abandon the ACC, my Louisville Cardinals would still be floundering about in some G5 league, with their faces pressed against the candy store window like Cincy or Memphis State. Or, when it comes to pigskin, UConn, which is flippin’ and floppin’ like a fish out of water in football, while their hoopsters cut a deal with the Big East. The Terps laid out a hoops-style number in their opener. 79. Against hapless Howard. But that’s a lot of scoring nonetheless. Dino Baber’s Orange skunked Liberty in their opener. The Flames were a bit out of sorts, given that their felonious coach Hugh Freeze was bedridden. Literally. In the press box. These are the best days for Syracuse on the gridiron since Jim Brown and Ernie Davis made them the Beast of the East. The Orange have won 3 in a row in College Park. Make it 4.

Eastern Michigan @ Kentucky. “Eastern Eagles, hats off to you/ Fight, fight, fight for ole EMU/ Look to the sky, the Eagles will fly, the bravest we’ll defy/Rah, rah, rah/ Hold that line for ole Green and White/ Sons and daughters show your might/ So, FIGHT, FIGHT for ole EMU and vic-tor-y!” While there is nothing especially noteworthy about EMU’s fight song, it’s about the only thing that comes up if you ask Alexa, “Tell me some Eastern Michigan football traditions?” Plus the factoid that Jim Nantz once referred to them during the NCAAs as the No Names, when the school was politically correctifying its nickname from Hurons to Eagles. They did defy the bravest of of Hurricane warnings as well as their foe, winning at Coastal Carolina in their opener. Wildcats might be looking ahead to Florida, but will still breeze.

Eastern Kentucky @ Louisville. It is very rare that a school’s fan base will be pumped with optimism after their faves were throttled by 18 points in the opener. But so desperate have been U of L fans after the debacle that was Bobby Petrino’s buh-bye season, any signs of life would invigorate. That said there are legitimate reasons for positivitude, despite the setback to the Irish. As a general rule, I seriously loathe these payday games against FCS schools. They’re usually walkovers, and cause one to miss some possibly really good game on TV, like A&M @ Clemson. Buuuuut, EKU drew and quartered Valpo in its opener, 52-7. So the guys from Richmond have some life. Plus the Red & Black Faithful and Cards’ team and new staff want and deserve a victory. Which they shall get.

— Seedy K