Seedy K’s Gridiron Gazette: OutFoxing the Opposition, Schpilke Index & More

You know how you come across something from the past you’ve forgotten about that you really like, or really amuses you or entertains you? A meme. Or a TV episode. Or a commercial. A comedian.

And, you go, “Oh yeah, I remember that. Cool.”

That’s how I felt Saturday during my hours in front of the telly watching college football.

During one of Fox’s halftime highlight interludes, there was Emmanuel Acho. “I remember that guy,” I said to myself, “he’s really good.” Funny. Knowledgeable. Insightful. Entertaining, Irreverent.

Last year he was on ESPN. Why’d they ever let him slip away?

But here he was on The World Wide Leader’s rising challenger for supremacy on College Football Saturdays.


Kind of like the Fox coup when Rupert’s gang pilfered CBS and signed my favorite football and basketball play by play guy, Gus Johnson.

Plus the network has Petros Papadakis, who did double duty last weekend, covering Boise State/BYU on Friday, and Washington State/Oregon State on Saturday.

I do not watch those Saturday morning lead in shows. I mean, noon to too late is truly enough. But, if I happen to, I guess I’ll have to check out Fox’s instead of kneejerking to Herbie and Corso and the bunch.

Plus talking the Left Coast Conference into a Noon EST time slot battle was a seriously savvy move on the part of both league and network.

That Southern Cal scored twice in the last couple of minutes to overtake the upset minded Sun Devils was a propitious way to start.

 * * * * *

Speaking of the Trojans let’s talk about Clay Helton and the first Schpilke Index chatter of the season.*

*To remind, schpilke is a Yiddish word roughly translated as anxious, full of nervous energy, ants in the pants. The kind of feeling coaches on the hot seat get, when they’ve lost again and they see a couple of guys walking in their neighborhood toward their house with Century 21 For Sale signs.

Despite a 40-22 record at USC coming into the season, Helton’s seat has felt like the one in your car when you inadvertently hit the warming button in the middle of August.

So, that impressive comeback against Arizona State in the AM at what is normally salami and eggs at Nate & Al’s time certainly calmed the coach’s nerves. Had Kedon Slovis not rifled the pigskin for that winning TD, Helton might already have former in front of his job position.

Like Utah State’s Gary Anderson, who joined Southern Mississippi’s Jay Hopson with his head on the Fired During the Season Totem Pole.

Michigan’s Jim Harbaugh, a school legacy for heaven’s sake, and Tennessee’s Jeremy Pruitt are the most prominent mentors with elevated blood pressure these days. As for the former, after getting manhandled in Bloomington, his Wolverines play a bunch of Badgers itching to get it on after time off. The Vols host surging A & M, a team taking dead aim on the Final Four.

Like I said, Harbaugh and Pruitt be schpilking out this week.

Oops, I almost forgot to mention James Franklin. His Nittany Lions are 0-3. That doesn’t play well in State College. Plus, this weekend, there’s a trek to Lincoln to face the Huskers.

Hugh Freeze is just outside the candy store waiting, knowing the door’s going to open soon.

 * * * * *

Of course, Notre Dame vaulted past Ohio State to the #2 slot in the polls this week.

Knute, the Gipper, the Golden Boy, they just resonate more than Hopalong and Archie and Woody.

Let’s see what happens to the Fighting Irish when they face Dabo and a full deck of cards in the ACC title game?

 * * * * *

I’ll be honest, as much as I attempt to keep in touch, I’m never fully informed about the MAC.

But how crafty of that conference to play all their games in this COVID Campaign on the WWL on Tuesday and Wednesday nights?

Somewhere in exile, Tom Jurich is smiling. The former U of L AD would have the Louisville Cardinals play anybody anywhere at anytime any day of the week for national exposure.

I assume, unlike last Tuesday when a matter of some consequence had my attention, this week I’ll be all in on Miami at Buffalo.

 * * * * *

The Louisville Cardinals are back at practice. Let’s hope that 3:30 kickoff at UVa comes about.

— c d kaplan