Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week XII

Driving about this morning, I was listening on Channel 309 Jam On to a group that is actually named Pigeons Playing Ping Pong.

What they were playing was a seriously pedestrian tune titled “Porcupine,” but I never moved on to something else.

Which anecdote, to be brutally honest, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the precipitous decline in my predictioneering prowess last weekend.

But is conclusive empirical evidence how far your scribe will go in a lame obviously failed attempt to be alliteratively cute.

I was rewarded for my lack of energy to change the station with an interesting Frank Zappa tune that followed.

Which is yet another, so what?

Coming off a 5-0 slate in Week X, here’s what happened last time out here.

TCU won again in Austin. UK failed to Krogerize the Dores in a home L, the next great power in college pigskin. My Cards fell in Death Valley to a former recently great power in college pigskin.

But . . . All hail to the Baby Blue Tar Heels who defrocked the Demon Deacons.

And DePauw, which recaptured the Monon Bell with a decisive 49-14 plundering of rival Wabash.

2-3 for the weekend. 37-24 on the year.

Forever Onward!

This week’s winners:

Iowa @ Minnesota. The recently rebranded Big Ten Mediocre Division is a veritable clusterfrig at the top. Four so so schools knotted to decide which shall be the sacrificial lamb against the Buckeyes or Wolverines. Purdue. Illinois. Minnesota. Iowa. Wisconsin still implausibly on their heels. Two of the contendas, the Golden Gophers and Hawkeyes, vie for the Floyd of Rosedale Saturday. While far from as heralded as the abovementioned Monon Bell, it does mean something to a number of fans residing in the Frozen Tundra. Otherwise, a feh sort of affair. Gophers stay alive in division race.

Oklahoma State @ Oklahoma. It always seemed like Brent Venables, given all his chances while DC at Clemson to move on, never really wanted to be a head coach. He didn’t need some husko gordo grad assistant pulling him by his belt as if to keep him off he gridiron to prevent him from leaving. But, ya know, Boomer Sooner is a fairly heralded pigskin place. Wonder what he’s thinking these days? 2-5 in the league, 5-5 overall. Does bedlam reign in Norman with bowl eligibility? Maybe, but not this weekend. Sort of yech Okie State sneaks away with the W.

 Western Kentucky @ Auburn. After five straight loses, finally getting rid of the coach they hated, the Plainsmen came out of the darkness against reeling A&M under the interim leadership of Cadillac Williams. Causing the J D Moneybags of Oil Gusher, Texas to count their cash to see if they’re willing to go jumbo to axe Jimbo. Can they toilet paper the visiting, feisty and high scoring Hilltoppers to turn Toomer’s Corner into a mosh pit on consecutive weekends? Sure, why not?

Georgia @ Kentucky. Do the Cats have the faintest hope of getting back on track? Uh . . . no.

North Carolina State @ Louisville. Is there any greater evidence of the disparity between the True Haves and the Wannabes that the Wolfpack remain in the Top 25 after losing to Boston College? Is there nobody more worthy? Yes. Or, so it says here. Their foe this weekend, the University of Louisville Cardinals. Who shall prove it on the Floyd Street gridiron.

— c d kaplan