Mama said there’ll be days like this/ There’ll be days like this, mama said/ Mama said Mama said

Vuuuuush!!! (To quote Inga in “Young Frankenstein.”) It’s been a while.

Brian Ferentz’s moribund Hawkeye offense scored all of 15 points, ten under what he theoretically needs to average to keep his gig, yet still beat Wisconsin 15-9. In Camp Randell no less.

Notre Dame bounced back, grounding Caleb Wilson and smacking the Trojans around.

The Wildcats got thrashed. At home.

And my Cardinals, oh my Cards, were bludgeoned in Steel City.

North Carolina’s W is hardly solace. I remain in ICU days later.

An embarrassing 1-4 for the first weekend of October. Oy. 25-15 for the campaign.

UK and U of L both have a bye for R & R. If only I did too.

But noooooooooooo, I forge ahead.

This week’s winners (he advises sheepishly to the skeptical):

Penn State @ Ohio State. James Franklin’s Nittany Lions have been on the brink of the cusp of the edge of a breakthrough for a couple of seasons. But haven’t been able to crack through to the Buckeye/ Wolverine inner sanctum in the Big Ten, where they light up Hoyo de Monterrey Elegantes to celebrate. Is this the year? If for no reason other than I’m swingin’ for the fences, chasing at that first pitch, hoping to get in touch with my inner Kyle Schwarber, I’m goin’ with the visiting dudes from State College. Nittany Lions chew Buckeyes.

Clemson @ Miami. This is the classic big one/ important one/ seasoning defining one for both teams. The Dabos have lost twice already in the ACC. And have not beaten anybody of note. Yet still seem to be the choice of many national wags. Because the allegedly resurgent ‘Canes have been regurgitating instead. One more once, Mario, what da hell were you thinkin’ against Georgia Tech? Which of these season on the brink outfits can recover from recent woes to grab this Battle of the BeatenDowns? I’m guessing, and it is indeed a hunch, the U. Because, like a Phoenix risen from the fire (or is it ashes?), clemsoning is a thing again.

Air Force @ Navy. It’s a game woefully less exposed than that other service rivalry in December. The Falcons are undefeated and sit atop the Mountain West. Flyin’ High if youku will. The Middies are still acclimating to a coaching switch., sitting in the middle of the AAC. Read: Medioocre.  As if Cousin Tommy Cruise Mapother was playing QB, and wideout, and cornerback, and kicking FGs, Air Force soars to another victory.

TCU @ Kansas State. Here we go with a couple of middle of the pack Big 12 teams I know absolutely nothing about. OK, I do recall that last year’s darling Horned Frogs served as an opening week step ladder for Coach Prime Hype Machine. (Which analogy doesn’t really work, but it’s all I got after last weekend’s results.) And it seems like the other purple team 4-2 K State always makes some splash each year. Though this one isn’t on many folks radar. But one guy — c’est moi — will be a happy camper when they’re celebrating in the Little Apple Saturday night at the KS Bar & Grille over a heaping plate of Smk’ed Stuffed Bacon Wrapped Jalapenos.

James Madison @ Marshall. James Madison is the Bellarmine of college football. Not yet eligible for championships or a bowl game. But they are undefeated, and appear to have made the jump to lower level of the BCS echelon. They play lots o’ D. But the Herd beat the Dukes last year in Harrisonburg as a big dog. Playing in Huntington is never a picnic. The Thundering Herd kick butt at home.

Louisville and Kentucky both have the weekend off, for which they are grateful after setbacks. Actually, I could use one myself. Bye would win.

— c d kaplan