Warning: This was posted before Sunday’s conference finals.

Let the madness commence.

Oh yeah, it already has.

But first, a didactic riff on my annual admonition.

I had the opportunity the other day to advise a friend of  Seedy K’s College Hoops Post Season Rule #1.

At our regular weekly lunch on Wednesday, Mike mentioned how he’d already set his DVR to record Kentucky vs. Tennessee in the SEC title game.

At which instant, after a spit take, it was time to set him straight.

Understand this fellow knows his basketball. He played in HS, and claims to have gotten the best of Wes Unseld, once anyway, which he shares with sort of a wink. He was a senior. Wes was still learning how to play early in his first varsity year.

What gives a scintilla of credence, if that, to my pal’s claim is he owns that a couple of months later Unseld turned him over under sideways down.

My guy also played collegiately, albeit in the Ivy League.

But I digress. (As those of my ilk are inclined to do these days as we anxiously await the announcement that Coach X will be coaching the now coachless University of YouKnowWhomI’mTalkingAbout next season.)

As much as my buddy knows hoops, he’s not a hoopaholic, like oh somebody who watched so much basketball one day last week, while obsessively munching popcorn, he had to scurry to the neighborhood drug store for some Pepto Bismol.

Gulp. True. Gulp.

OK, my point, what I advised said friend was this: Rule Numero Uno:

It’s the time of year when you only play whom you play.

As both the Vols and Cats were reminded. Oh, so too the Flyers.

As well as the Blue Jays. And Blue Devils.

So, yeah, sports fans, those of you fortunate enough to have your faves still caging, look past the next Retrievers of UMBC at your peril

It’s a game at a time from now on.

Despite how all the talking heads tonight after the reveal will be slobbering over possible Sweet Sixteen matchups.

 * * * * *

As you might surmise, the kid is locked in, even though my team is nowhere to be found at this Dance.

With an extra bottle of the pink stuff in his medicine chest.

I haven’t a clue who might prevail?

Purdue lost in their league semi, when Matt Painter put Zack Edey on the inbounder in the last seconds of regulation with a side out by the Badgers. Which allowed a wide open layup sending the game to OT. Cheese prevailed.

Might purduing in college hoops be a thing = clemsoning in pigskin?

Houston was eviscerated in the Big 12 title tilt by the Cylones.

UConn was tested by Marquette, the Warriors — yeah, deal with it — playing without their best guy.

Florida looks feisty.

Auburn finally won a game by single digits.

Pitino the Younger’s team is finally performing up to expectations.

Kevin Keatts found his inner Valvano and his State squad played like it was ’83.

Can’t State lost to Akromonius in the MAC final, when a Golden Flasher, oblivious that his team had just taken the lead with seconds to play, fouled a Zip. Tsk, tsk. Time and score, due.

Dan Monson, fired a week ago but allowed to coach until the end of the season, mentored his Long Beach State charges to the Big West auto bid.

Antelope Valley is a school somewhere in Cali. Well, actually, it was a for profit school until it closed its doors just recently. But the NAIA still allowed the hoops squad play in its tourney even though there’s no university anymore.

Is it gettin’ curioser and curioser or what?

Or what.

And today UAB and Temple will duke it out for the AAC bid instead of those favored Florida Directionals. The Blazers and Owls met recently, in a league tilt with strange betting patterns. Alerts abounded. Yet here they are again.

Yes, it’s gonna be wackamundo.

Have a very Merry Unbirthday.

— c d kaplan