Yes, yes, yes, here we are again.

And I am so very sure that at least one or two of you pigskin fanatics have headstarted, have already pulled out the tailgating Coleman, set it up in the driveway and test-grilled a couple of sausages. While seeing if those lawn chairs you got at a yard sale are sturdy enough for another full season?

Just to make sure all is in working order, don’t you?.

Or pulled that Vince Gibson-autographed Red Rage Era Helmet Bowl out of the cupboard, then popped up some delicioso Black Jewel Gourmet Heritage corn. (The best.)

You know who you are.

Wear the prep as a badge.

Thus, without further ado: Back for another go round.

Welcome back to Planet Chinstrap’s most accurate predicticator of gridiron results for the last dozen years in a row.

So, we begin.

With a season kickoff on Cypress Avenue in the Land o’ Van. The Fighting Irish opening over there makes sense. Seminoles and Engineers, whataya whataya?

I don’t get it. Kinda like the email I got this morning from Subaru advising I was out of windshield wiper fluid. Even before my dashboard told me. Which is strange enough unto its own self.

But college football, that’s my bag.

Let’s kick it off with Week 0’s winners:

Georgia Tech vs. Florida State (Dublin, Ireland). Florida State, looking for a new home don’t ya know, is the only school to have a more embarrassing finish to last season than my beloved Cardinals. Robbed they were, the undefeated Noles, being left out of the CFP and all. What a shuck. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, instead of manning up, proving to the world the stupidity of the slight, by spearing a mighty good Georgia team in the Orange Bowl, Florida State didn’t even show up. 3-63. Which leads this wag to wonder about the grit and determination Mike Norvell is fostering in Tallahassee? Loaded they are again, conference faves. But, I gots to ask, where be their heads? Meanwhile Brent Key’s upticking charges led by Haynes King played those Bulldogs tough as a 24 dog, then topped Central Fla in the Gasparilla, as a five point underdog. Which leads me to this. My first damn the chalk prediction of the long season to come. Ramblin’ Wreck from Georgia Tech.

Montana State @ New Mexico. Lobo football has essentially been nowhere. Literally. No bowl games since ’16. And the last four of those were all at home. Which I’m sure had nothing to doe with jacking up attendance. There’s a new sheriff in Albuquerque, a fella you might recall roaming the sidelines in Charlottesville. Bronco Mendenhall. Who must open his era in the not so enviable position of playing perennial FCS power, Montana State. Brent Vigen’s Bobcats shall provide a not so warm welcome to NM’s new mentor.

Southern Methodist @ Nevada. Rhett Lashlee’s Mustangs are a dark horse pick to make some noise in the ACC. They finished their AAC stint with an upset W over Tulane in Willie Fritz’s finale on beauteous St. Charles Street before he caught the trolley over to Houston. 11-3 SMU was, though they ran into a Green Monster in the Fenway Bowl, falling to BC. New Wolf Pack coach is Jeff Choate, last seen with the DC’s headset in Austin. He hopes to break a serious losing streak in Reno. 2-10 the last two campaigns. Maybe in Week I at Troy, but not in the 0pener. Ponies.

Delaware State @ Hawai’i. Here’s hoping the Hornets enjoy their time on the beach. On the gridiron they shall be bombarded like our Navy at Pearl Harbor. Rainbow Warriors.

— c d kaplan