Yes, kids, it’s that bilingual time of the year.

A glorious coagulation of yours truly’s favorite sporting endeavors.

Bronconagurskians and Naismithiuns unite!

A new era in University of Louisville basketball commences this evening in the Yum!.

Be there, or be square.

While the football season is still unfolding — unraveling — before us.

Thus, I am compelled to talk out of both sides of my mouth.

Simultaneously.

At the same time.

 * * * * *

Everyone who had heard of Young Harris College before the Georgia DII school appeared on the U of L Cardinals’ schedule raise your hand?

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

I certainly had not. I assume there is some connection with Pat Kelsey or Josh Heird, but have not discovered it yet. Endeavour Morris is on the case.

But I did not a deep but cursory dive into the school, curious most of all about the intriguing name of the institution.

The school was founded in 1886 by a roving minister named Artemus Lester. Who called it the McTyreire Institute. Which was changed not long after when a local jurist named Young L.G. Harris endowed it to ensure its survival. The town is also named for said judge, so one must assume he was a man of influence in those environs.

The school’s motto: “Hic invictus incenditur.”

“Here youth are inspired.”

Which hoopsters (DII since 2014) have been under the mentorship of Jeremy Currier for the last several years, their most successful. Top 25 in their division season before last, 17-12 last campaign.

The Mountain Lions compete in either the Peach Belt Conference or Conference Carolinas. I’m obviously more than somewhat confused by what appear to be conflicting bits of info on the school’s site.

They play schools like Belmont Abbey. Which the hoops historians among you shall recognize as the first coaching stop of icon Al McGuire.

As for the Cards, I’m walking into the arena tonight with wonder and excitement. And an open mind.

I shall report in.

 * * * * *

When there are big trades in the professional ranks, what immediately crop up are instantaneous suppositions over which franchise came out best. Grades are often given.

Happens with the NBA a lot. But also in the other major sports.

Which I thought of given the increasingly dire situations at powers — well, former powers — Southern California and Oklahoma.

The Trojans, now in the Big Eighteen, are 3-4 overall, 1-4 in the league.

This under the tutelage of purported QB whisperer Lincoln Riley, who slipped out of Norman in the dark of night, to domicile in a manse overlooking the Pacific. Money talks, everybody (almost) walks.

Riley went 8-5 last season, losing five of six to end the regular campaign, before filleting U of L in the Holiday Bowl. So, Riley — motto: “Defense, I don’t need no stinkin’ defense” — has lost 9 of his last 14. The Trojan faithful are, shall we say, more than a bit miffed.

Meanwhile at Oklahoma, now residing in the Conference That Cares More, Brent Venables, Riley’s successor, known as a DL Whisperer, with an assistant assigned to pull him off the field by the belt buckle, moved in.

Boomer Sooner stands 4-3.

Buuuuuuuut, has dropped three of its last four. Giving up lots of points. Like 34 to Texas, while scoring but a wafer thin field goal. Like 35 to South Carolina at home, while scoring only 9.

Venables: “It’s the OC’s fault. I’m a gonna get me a new one.”

So, how are these hires grading out? On the curve, remembering where they’re coaching.

Lincoln Riley: F+

Brent Venables: F+

 * * * * *

During Mizzou’s latest W against Auburn, QB Brady Cook had time to go to the hospital mid game, get an MRI on an injury, then return to the game in uniform. Proceeding to be responsible for a couple 4th Q TDs in the Tigers’ comeback.

(Guess he’s more important than John Q. Citizen. If a scan of some sort is necessary for a regular guy or gal, it’s scheduled at least three weeks out. After Mammoth Gigantic Insurance Corporation grants approval for the $100 large procedure. Which they’ll “adjust” to oh $5000 or so.)

 * * * * *

Atherton High School Rebels 49, Iroquois High School Raiders 0.

 * * * * *

I was doing some other stuff — yes, I have a smidge of other life — and didn’t tune into Friday night’s Duke/ Florida State game until it was already under way.

It was just at the juncture when the Seminoles committed turnovers on Three Consecutive Offensive Plays. Pick. Fumble. Pick. In some order or another. Going from 3-0 ahead to 3-17 behind. And, as is their wont in this season of descendence, they never recovered.

Mike Norvell’s team is — tee hee — 1-6 (1-5).

The bad karma hearkens directly back to all that braying last campaign when they were left out of the playdowns. Then failed to show up for Georgia in the Orange Bowl, falling by 60.

Meanwhile Manny Diaz’s Blue Devils might be 6-1 (2-1 in the A&PCC), but they got the most boring, most basic offense I’ve seen all year. But, whatever works, right?

 * * * * *

As much as I love the Illinois throwback Red Grange jerseys, I wish they’d have gone all the way to what the Galloping Ghost wore the day a century ago when he tallied six TDs against the Wolverines.

Just sayin’.

 * * * * *

Both Army and Navy remain undefeated.

For the first time since General George Washington crossed the Delaware and Admiral David Glascoe Farragut screamed “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.” As his famous order has been abbreviated.

 * * * * *

Among the nation’s undefeateds is Brigham Young. The Mormon school has a QB of the Jewish persuasion.

Which makes me smile.

 * * * * *

Reminder: Pat Kelsey Era commences tonight at 7:00.

Your attendance is welcome.

— c d kaplan