The three mid-twentysomethings, pals since childhood, are in Vegas the first weekend of the NFL season.
Huge football fans all.
It was a bachelor party sortie of sorts. One to be married yesterday, almost a couple months after the scenario. It was the only time they could get away, though the ceremony was a long time off.
One matriculated at Indiana. The one to be hitched graduated from Pitt. The third somehow ended up at BYU, though he had since tossing his mortarboard eschewed the cultural strictures of the Mormon-run school.
After an entire night throwin’ ’em down at the Laundry Room and Velveteen Rabbit, the three stumbled back into the Wynn as the pro fans in their Packer and Patriot jerseys staked out spots in the sports book for pro game day in front of the video walls.
Seriously in their cups, all three pigskin fanatics pumped because their alma mammys had all won their first two games of the season, came up with the kind of idea that happens only in that town, after a night on that town.
“What if the Hoosiers, Cougars and Panthers are all still undefeated on the day Maury gets hitched? What kind of odds you think they’ll give us for that parlay?”
So, all moderately successful early on their careers, they decide to each toss in a Benjamin, and see what’ll happen.”
They make their proposal to the fellow at the betting window. In a town where nothing should surprise anybody, where absurd prop bets are proposed all the time, the fellow at the window who has heard it all, lowers his head, peers over his specs, and says you sure you want me to go in the back and get our oddsetter come up with a number?
So, yeah, can you imagine if that — which I totally made up — had actually happened and I didn’t just make it up, what the odds might have been?
And just how big that payoff would be today?
And how much celebrating they would have done at the reception last night?
It woulda been like the final scene of “The In-Laws,” when Alan Arkin’s Sheldon Kornpett and Peter Falk’s Vince Ricardo, having survived Richard Libertini’s General Garcia with the help of Ed Begley Jr’s Barry Lutz, parachuted into the reception of their kids wedding, with oodles of cash.
Which shtick is to underscore the wackamundo nay impossible to conceive situation where those three college pigskin outliers move on the Week X of the season, their records unblemished still.
Pitt, IU, Brigham Young, who knew?
* * * * *
I am fascinated by Curt Cignetti.
There is just something about his demeanor, cockiness, sideline disposition and obvious coaching chops.
He is good.
Two Examples:
IU scored on a long TD pass. The wideout didn’t let go of the ball in the endzone, but did loosen his grip somewhat. While congratulating him on the sideline, CG also admonished through gesture (and one supposes words), “Hold the ball high and tight.”
When IU kicks off and the other team calls for a fair catch, the Hoosier special teamers all still run all the way to the endzone even after the whistle has blown the play over.
DETAILS.
The Hoosiers are good.
When IU appeared late to have the W over UDub in hand, and THE Ohio Stat University was behind Nebraska late in the 4th Q, I imagined a plethora of posts and post game weigh ins among the Buckeye diehards to the effect, “Fire Ryan Day. Hire Curt Cignetti.”
They’re far from the only school’s fans looking to poach the first year mentor away from Bloomington.
* * * * *
In Pitt’s win over Syracuse, former Buckeye QB Kyle McCord threw three pick sixes . . .
. . . in the first half.
* * * * *
I absolutely loathe those Win Probability graphics that are now becoming an epidemic.
They are of no consequence whatsoever, not the slightest bit enlightening.
Stop. Please.
* * * * *
JM Atherton HS Rebels 53, Fairdale HS Bulldogs 0.
* * * * *
A new entrant in the Andre Ware Hall of Fame from Friday night’s telecast of the Cardinal victory.
After the two minute warning, BC without a full complement of timeouts, down four but driving, had a 3d & manageable just inside of Cardinal territory.
“I think this is four down territory for the Panthers.”
Really, now how would we have ever considered that?
* * * * *
Manny Diaz got in touch with his inner Tom Osborne late in Duke’s one point L to SMU.
The Blue Devils scored. Went for two. Didn’t get it.
Manny Diaz, you’re no Tom Osborne.
Whether Rhett Lashlee rides that escape to a national title remains to be seen.
The Schnell did.
* * * * *
That others beside Travis Hunter are in the hunt for the Heisman is proof enough how foolish that award speculation has become.
Returning from injury in Colorado’s bowl-eligible win Saturday, Hunter had nine catches for 153 yards and two TDs.
That was just on offense.
Playing in the secondary on D, he had 4 breakups.
He is clearly the Best Player in the Game.
* * * * *
Florida State, I smirk.
* * * * *
Sunday afternoon, I finally got my butt out of my Stressless Recliner midafternoon, to do some little chores around my condo. With the TV on still, of course.
I ran into a neighbor as I was going to throw away some trash.
“Whatdaya been doing?” he asked.
“Watching way too much football.”
Smiling, he replied, “There’s no such thing.”
“Well,” says I, “I’m giving it a shot.”
After which, I again deposited myself in front of the screen for “The Witching Hour” on NFL RedZone.
There were several back and forth battles — especially Ravens/ Browns — and game ending plays, but the coup de grace came . . .
. . . when Bears CB Tyrique Stevenson stopped jawing with Commanders’ fans, then realized the final play of the game was underway, then, apparently not where he was supposed to be on a Hail Mary attempt, tipped Jayden Daniels’ Flutie into the arms of undefended Noah Brown. For a Washington W.
At which point, I thought excitable RedZone host Scott Hanson would explode.
Literally.
As if his entrails would blow out of the screen of my LG flatscreen.
Fortunately, for him and my carpeting, it was just figuratively.
— c d kaplan