I love all my loyal readers.

Even those of you who got passed over for a promotion at work, and feel comfortable venting your frustration here when I misspell a word.

But this one’s especially if not exclusively for Cheesenoggin’, who won’t stop giving me shite because I haven’t posted enough about football to suit his personal minimum daily requirement.

This is a dude who grew up with an altar to Fuzzy Thurston in his bedroom, shared a mouthpiece with his fellow tight end in HS, and has never gotten over his failed attempt to name said school after Vince Lombardi like in “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School.” Of course his rearing was deep in the heart of the Land o’ Wurst, which encased sausages have been the centerpiece of his diet since youth.*

*The guy takes his brats seriously. Advises that Miesfeld’s from Sheboygan are the best, should you want to up your game from Johnsonville. Which advice is worthy despite the fact that the Sunday night dinners of his youth were popcorn and milk. 

He’s a dude whose great college memory is the moment then Badger AD Crazy Legs Hirsch danced on top of the Student Union building after some major victory in Camp Randall.

He became a Cardinal fan after moving here, now lives away in the diaspora, and craves insight. Which I cannot provide to his satisfaction, so I’ve connected him with my own Cardinal Gridiron Whisperer. Have at it, dudes.

But, yeah, I’m willing to venture into the upcoming season, with a little bit of this and that.

More specifically about U of  L and other pigskin matters in the days to come.

 * * * * *

Let’s start at the start.

Despite the nomenclature, which stands alongside a major sandwich chain’s calling its sub a foot long when it was several inches shorter, Week 0 is worth a watch this season.

Not just for the fans of the few teams getting a head start. Your Fresno States and WKU Hilltoppers, among others.

Or those addicted to props on BetYerIRA.com.

Yes, aficionados, there’s a battle which, it says here, shall determine one of the slots in the CFP Designated Dozen.

Big 12 wannabes/ contenders Iowa State and Kansas State shall battle it out in the Land o’ Erin.

Does that mean we should change the designation to Week nil?

Both the Wildcats and Cyclones are preseason Top 25. Both aspire to a spot in the Designated Dozen.

Here they find themselves right at opening kickoff, given their peripherality, in a Must Win Loser Has To Row Home Like Tori Murden Battle. Across the pond. In front of fans hung over from too much Guiness. As if you can’t get it in the Little Apple or Ames.

Still eccentric after all these years, I’m out on a limb saying the victor in Dublin makes the playdowns.

The other 11 locks are on their way.

 * * * * *

The faves of most of my readership have walkovers in Week I.

U of L vs. EKU.

IU vs. Old Dominion.

UK has a bit tougher row to hoe. Toledo, a favorite to capture the MAC.

Otherwise that opening weekend is as enticing as any in memory.

Texas at Ohio State.

Nebraska at Cincy. Because that Satterfield fella remains in our heads.

Auburn at Baylor.

ACC contender Georgia Tech at Colorado.

Alabama at Florida State.

LSU at Clemson.

Catholics vs Convicts.  T-shirts available for purchase online.

TCU, the foe of Prime in his opener, against North Carolina, in Belichick’s debut.

It’s all a deep dive.

IU continues its rummy menu the following weekend against Kennesaw State.

Coach Cignetti: “I schedule. Google me.”

But the Cats get Ole Miss.

And the Cards enter trap territory on Floyd Street against Group of 5 CFP hopeful, James Madison.

 * * * * *

Alright you’ve been waiting long enough.

The other 11 schools which shall compete for the championship, in no particular order.

Southern Methodist. Death Penalty survivors with lots of cash.

Notre Dame. Because all they need really is a .500 record.

Clemson. Dabo’s looking for #3.

Ohio State. Defending champ.

Pennsylvania State. All hype aside, they haven’t impressed me all that much,

Boise State. Group of 5.

Texas. Arch Madness.

Georgia. In a drought since back to backs in ’21 and ’22.

Alabama. Where have you gone Nick Saban?

South Carolina. Not a typo. In Norris Sellers I believe.

Oklahoma. Otherwise Brent Venables will be calling D signals somewhere outside of Norman next campaign.

Dark Horse? It’s a tease, A surprise indicated by analytics. Coming soon.

— c d kaplan