Seedy K’s Gridiron Gab: Petrino/ Snark Edition

College Sports, Football

In a move that’s cause to mandate a special dinner meeting of Snarkers Anonymous in a banquette at Porcini, one Robert Petrino has been named interim head coach at Arkansas.

Fired Razorback coach Sam Pittman, I told you before the season to watch your back.

For those of us who have fashioned a cottage career making fun and hurling barbs, this is the Mother of All Are You Kidding Me, the Mack Daddy of Sure We Saw It Coming But Still.

I’d weigh in more, but I’m smiling too much to type about it. My fingers are numb with glee at the prospect of watching this.

His theme when entering Donald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium in a couple of weeks against A&M has to be, gotta be “Motorpsycho Nightmare.”

This is a gift that keeps on giving.

Oh yeah, of course, Bobby advised the Razorback AD that he wants to be considered for a second term.

Then less than 24 hours on the job, BP fired his DC, DL and another defensive assistant.

So, too obsessive Seedy is wondering where the hell is Petrino going to find any sort of halfway decent defensive coaches at the end of September?

Then I read that just 183 miles west of Fayetteville in Stillwater Oklahoma, a DC going by the name Todd Grantham has been pink slipped at Okie State. If that name sounds vaguely familiar he served in said capacity under our boy Bobby at U of L from ’14-’17. To meh effect.

Stay tuned, kids. Hunter Yurachek, some advice. Give Tom Jurich a call.

Will Arkansas make the same mistake my alma mammy did?

 * * * * *

U of L Game Ball to Zephian Wade, Cardinal equipment guy, whose job on Saturdays is getting Louisville’s balls back. (Somebody gonna have to ‘splain to me why schools get to use their own balls on O?)

Wade got assaulted by a couple Panthers’ players while attempting to retrieve that Pick Six MM tossed in the W over Pitt. Which he did with help from the host team’s security.

 * * * * *

Not sure if he’s a college football fan, he who was Carl Spackler who tried but couldn’t get on as an alternative looper at Bethpage Black this weekend. But in a parallel universe he was Phil Powell, the guy who kept waking up the same day in Puxtawhatevah Pa, until he closed the deal with Andie McDowell.

Actually we know Bill Murray adores Da Bears fan. He was just on with Peyton and Eli a couple weeks ago.

But if he also likes college pigskin. he’d have recognized Groundhog Day Saturday.

Feeling a major kinship with James Franklin and Kirby Smart.

The Penn State mentor is now infamously 4-21 against Top 10 foes while roaming the Nittany Lion sideline. His team flinched again in double OT as the favorite against the Quack in front of 111,000 miserable white clad State supporters.

Meanwhile, Kirby Smart is very successful. National titles x2. Etc, etc.

But against Steely Dan’s favorite team he stands now 1-7. So much for that 33 game win streak in Sanford.

Kalen DeBoer thanks you.

Kirby, James, welcome to Groundhog Day.

Some things are the same as they ever was.

In State College. And Athens. And, tsk tsk, Fayetteville.

 * * * * *

There are reasons some coaches are more successful than others.

Planning for any possible foreseeable detail is one of them.

I needn’t remind my readers that I have a fanboy crush on Curt Cignetti.

While preparing to play against ever tough Iowa in deafening Kinnick Statdium where fans sit right on top of the action, he set up a game plan where QB Fernando Mendoza would never called an audible.

Some mentors know, a lot don’t.

Cignetti, who can be insufferably cocky, was quieter about those strange officials calls on IU’s last possession. The Hoosiers were going to take a knee on each play, but Iowa had three timeouts, they were obviously going to use in hopes of getting the ball with some clock.

The zebras did something I have never seen before. Mendoza would take the snap and keep backing up, waiting to take a knee for as long as possible. But three times in a row, the officials blew the play dead before the QB was down. Saving Iowa time on the clock.

It was essentially of no consequence but seriously unfair.

On 4th down, Mendoza, at Cignetti’s direction, ended up running backward for a safety thereby running out the clock.

Which the transfer from Cal actually apologized for, because it might have affected some bettors. Can I tell you how much wagering has insinuated itself so openly and prevalently in sports culture.

By the by, the Hoosiers pulled it out late when Waffle House (Elijah Sarratt) took it to the house on a great toss from Mendoza.

 * * * * *

Does anybody know what the actual analytics are as to whether a team with first choice should go O or D in OT?

Announcers as if by rote always say go on D first. But I seem to remember reading somewhere that it makes more sense to take the ball.

 * * * * *

It was a great weekend of football.

Starting on Friday night with UVa’s back and forth thriller W over Florida State.

Said surprising Cavaliers visit the rail yard this Saturday.

 * * * * *

Most of Oregon’s players were wearing pants cut off above the knee.

??????

— c d kaplan

15 thoughts on “Seedy K’s Gridiron Gab: Petrino/ Snark Edition”

  2. People (haters) act like one season, 2018, defines Bobby’s career, which is pretty ridiculous when you think about it. Reality is, love him or hate him, the vast majority of his career he has been an outstanding head coach when it comes to winning games. Now all the other stuff, which I personally feel has been blown WAAAY out of proportion due to Bobby’s, AHEM…awkward personally challenges, has made him an easy target for sports media folks and fans to skewer. The dude is an awkward dickhead. No question about it. There is also no question that a lot of lies have been told and perpetuated about him because so many people, sports media members among then, crave someone to hate and pile on. More than a few people have speculated that his issue is that he is on the spectrum. With his offensive savant capabilities coupled with his antisocial behaviors, and his robotic demeanor, that seems plausible. I once heard him claim that he remembered every single football play he has ever been involved with in his entire life. His. Entire. Life. (Seedy style one word sentences) I don’t have much doubt that is (was at one time?) probably true. Think about that for a second. The guy’s brain just doesn’t work like most people’s brains do. The one thing that he is as good at as coaching is shooting himself in the foot and self sabotaging his career.

    Many U of L fans hate Bobby, especially Bobby 2.0. This seems strange to me given that even 2.0 had three stellar seasons here before the 2018 collapse, AND he recruited and coached a LOUISVILLE Heisman Trophy winner. Something that I never thought I would live to see. Seven great seasons he gave us and one bad season, and a large portion of our fanbase hates a coach who is hands down (there is not even a close second place) the most successful head coach in U of L football history when it comes to total number of on field accomplishments. That’s a sad, strange, and curious thing to me. But then again, Bobby Petrino is a sad, strange, and curious person.

    2. A defense of Bobby. OK. He may have issues that are medical in nature. ??? But he was insufferable. Not a nice person, my interactions tell me. And he deserves every bit of derision, my opinion. Offensive savant he may have once been. He stopped doing his job second time through town. Almost literally. Walked away with $10 mill.

      1. I’m not arguing that Bobby is a likable guy. In his own words much of what has come down on him is self inflicted and deserved, but much of it is not also. It’s a mix of his actual bad behavior, and people literally making stuff up about him because they can get away with it. (I could cite examples, but don’t have the time at the moment) I am also not arguing that he didn’t quit on us without actually quitting the job in 2018. We don’t know exactly why. It might have been conniving, or he might have encountered personal problems and had something of a breakdown that we are unaware of. Yes I do believe he has a legit personality disorder. Seems obvious that he does. I also believe the hate directed at him crosses over into the irrational for a lot of people. Something they somewhat perversely enjoy, like hating a movie villain. Dennis Dodd once wrote that people act like he chained the doors to a church shut on Christmas morning and set it on fire. I can imagine that as a media member he has likely been rude to you in person. Likely on multiple occasions. He admits to being uncomfortable with personal interactions. He’s fucked up. No question.

        I just know he never did anything to me personally, and I thoroughly enjoyed 8 of the best seasons in the history of Louisville football when he was the head coach, and one more when he was OC for John L Smith and had the #1 ranked offense in the nation. Some of those seasons he was head coach rank as 3 or so of the top 5 all time for us. I believe he owns the 2 best seasons ever. 2006 and 2016.

        If you choose to, hate away my man. I’ll refrain. The dude has hurt himself enough, and given too much to Louisville football for me to join in on that.

          1. Bobby P, maybe unknowingly invented quiet quitting in 2018, before it became a thing in the workplace. I agree with scorpio’s assessment.

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