Tag Archives: Joey the Vig

Joey the Vig’s Not So Welcome Return & What It Means for Readers

As The Vig advised emphatically in our recent conversation, “Joey don’t do Zoom. And don’t call me The Vig.”

Ah, one of the pleasures of the pandemic, as if that can really be a thing, was no communications from my nemesis, Joey the Vig.

For those unfamiliar, he’s a sort of private fellow with various and sundry mysterious business enterprises. He’s a swarthy fellow, whose demeanor advises, “Don’t interrupt me, or disagree.”

Think Little Steven’s character in “Lillyhammer,” Francesco “Frankie the Fixer” Tagliano a/k/a Giovanni. Like Van Zandt’s character, The Vig (and I wisely for health purposes never call him that to his face) gets things taken care of.

With dispatch.

Usually through the persuasion methods employed by his “consultants,” Cousin Guido and Amir the Convincer. Continue reading Joey the Vig’s Not So Welcome Return & What It Means for Readers

Fun is Bowling: Joey the Vig Season

funindexYou’ve heard the tale too many times.

Because I’ve told it too many times, on a just about yearly basis. In hopes that I might purge the fear that arrives just after Thanksgiving, as if delivered on time by UPS.

If only.

There’ll be a black Crown Vic parked outside my place. Inside will reside a couple of swarthy looking gents. On the dashboard will be a couple of cups of Keurig espresso, a half eaten cannoli and baklava crumbs. As well as a black cloth bag, which appears from the outline to contain a Glock.

It’s Guido and Hassan, or some variation of their ilk, Joey the Vig’s associates. Come to make sure I enter The Vig’s bowl pool, which annual endeavor lines his already abundantly full pockets, and provides him enough amusement through to the first of the year, when he and his adored “bride” head to the Seychelles for the winter.

Oddly, and surprisingly, this year’s been different.

Imagine my surprise. As the two-times in a row double defending champion, I was expecting a squadron, including fellows rappelling down the side of my condo complex to my otherwise inaccessible porch.

Instead: Squadoosh. Continue reading Fun is Bowling: Joey the Vig Season

Brutus Bashes Quack, The Vig is Vexed: College Pigskin Wrap Up

foot1Pope Urban Meyer confirmed last night what we have suspected.

He’s the equal of that Saban guy, the one who coaches the Crimson Tide.

So, the scary thing for the rest of the Pigskin Planet is that the two most storied and successful schools in the sport have the two best coaches currently in the sport — two of the best ever — roaming their sidelines.

It’s a bracing thought for the upstarts.

Like Phil Knight University, which has now climbed the mountain twice, but failed to plant the flag.

Whatever do the Ducks do now? Install more marble showers and burled wood lockers? Continue reading Brutus Bashes Quack, The Vig is Vexed: College Pigskin Wrap Up

Sayonara BCS: College Pigskin Season Finally Over

footballoldIf you’ve been paying attention here, you know that I love college football.

Which is different than considering myself an astute observer of the technicalities of the game. Way different. I watch as a fan, not a guy who claims to know the Xs & Os.

Which was reinforced last night, as I watched most of Florida State’s exciting W on ESPN News. Which is where Matt Millen, Chris Spielman, Kevin Sumlin, Paul Chryst and Steve Addazio broke down the action and strategy in exacting detail in the Film Room.

It was as illuminating as it was fascinating. The latter three are still coaching, at Texas A & M, Pitt and Boston College respectively. Millen, who talked less than the others and was kind of a moderator, and Spielman, who was the most loquacious, do color for The World Wide Leader.

What became patently obvious was how much more these fellows see during the game than Seedy K does in the stands, press box or recliner. Immediately they’ll observe which lineman missed a block, or made a good one. Or, which LB missed an assignment, or looped through untouched on a stunt. Or, which receiver cut off a route too soon. Continue reading Sayonara BCS: College Pigskin Season Finally Over

Monday’s Musings: Poetic Justice, Rich Rod & Kudos for the Kid

b-ballWhat made me smile most over the weekend — other than winning Joey the Vig’s Bowl Pool, with two games left to be played, about which I shall boast in a moment — was watching Steve Alford’s UCLA Bruins gobsmack crosstown rival Southern Cal.

Not that I love the Bruins that much, though their classic unis are still the smartest looking in college hoops. Or, that I care much for usually surly Alford, for that matter.

It’s really the hubris of He With Hot Wife & Big Mouth But No Resumé, Andy Enfield, the new insufferable without portfolio coach at USC.

So, it was poetic justice that in the first meeting of the first year mentors, the score read: UCLA 107, Southern Cal 73.

As we wags are wont to say on occasion to add emphasis, it wasn’t that close. Continue reading Monday’s Musings: Poetic Justice, Rich Rod & Kudos for the Kid

Bowl Week: The Woes of Bettin’ The Line (Music Video Included)

joeyIt was but one ref’s call of many in the slate of bowl games on New Year’s Day. A bad call, yet one that, whichever way it went, would not really affect the outcome of the, let’s see which game was it, the Outback Bowl.

In the normal course of events, if you aren’t an alum of Iowa, or your nephew isn’t in the LSU band, you’d say of the call, “Geez, they really blew that one,” then click channels to see what was happening in the other game(s).

Ah, but if you’re in Joey The Vig’s Bowl Pool; and, if you, by some dumb luck, have correctly prognosticated nine games in a row to vault to the top of the standings; and, if you’ve taken the Bayou Bengals and are giving 7 1/2 points, the call has you shrieking, spinning about the room in a blather, foaming at the mouth, ready to call the Marquis of Queensbury for an official inquiry. Continue reading Bowl Week: The Woes of Bettin’ The Line (Music Video Included)

News Flash: Seedy K Atop Joey The Vig’s Bowl Pool

footballoldAfter Johnny Foosball and the Aggies’ comeback against the Blue Devils fell short of covering the spread last night, I knew I’d hear from The Vig.

Because, for the first time ever, I lead his annual Bowl Pool, heading into the New Year’s Day pigskin anschluss. Fortunately there was no knock on the door, just my phone ringing early.

It was the alluring voice of a jeune fille, the husky voice of a hottie proud of her new 36 Cs, given to her as a Christmas gift by You Know Who.

“‘ello? Eeese thees Monsieur Seedy K?”

“Uh, yes.”

“‘Old the line, s’il vous plait. Jewwwwy la Vig would like to speak.” Continue reading News Flash: Seedy K Atop Joey The Vig’s Bowl Pool

Tuesday Tidbits From The World O’ Sports

reporterIs there a more satisfying way to end the regular NFL season, than to watch — for what, the 3d year in a row? — Jerry Jones, expletives deleted, stomping out of his sky box at the JerryDome, his ‘Boys yet again a loser and out of the playoffs?

Always brings a smile to my face.

* * * * *

It was an exciting way to end the 17 week, 16 game slog, leading to the playoffs.

Chip Kelly’s Philly securing the W late in Big D, Little a, Double ll, as, to make the playoffs.

That fourth down Rogers to Cobb miracle on the frozen tundra of Soldier’s Field, as the Pack ousted Da Bears in pro football’s oldest and most fabled rivalry.

KC’s Ryan Succup missing a chip shot FG that would have launched the Steelers into the post season. Adding to the intrigue is the major officiating miscue that should have given him another shot from five yards closer.

The rise of Carolina, which started the season 1-3, and finished it 11-1.

* * * * *

I love the college hoops announcing experiment being attempted at The World Wide Leader. Continue reading Tuesday Tidbits From The World O’ Sports

Bowl Poolin’ with Joey the Vig

joeyThe immediate reason why I’m sitting here at my keyboard only half awake as the sun is just rising on Christmas Eve morn is simple.

The telephone rang early, uh, very early. At, oh, 5:30 or so.

After my groggy greeting, here’s exactly what I heard:

“JoeV Vig vonder vye no bull pull blug?”

I immediately recognized those Boris Badanovian tones as belonging to a new associate of the Vig, whose acquaintance I made just last week. He’s a mirthless fellow with the not so hail fellow well met countenance of Gaear Grimsrud, Peter Stormare’s wood chipping character in “Fargo.” But with far fewer vowels in his name, and less folly in his demeanor.

He is also a man of firm grip. To which I can personally attest, having been hung over the railing of my condo balcony, a clever ploy, which did convince me to enter Joey the Vig’s Annual Bowl Pool.

Not that the endeavor is a totally bad thing. Continue reading Bowl Poolin’ with Joey the Vig

Joey’s Not Happy With The C-J

joeyWhat a way to start Thanksgiving Day.

Not to mention that Chanukah started last evening at sundown.

Which means that last night was Latke Fest. Thus much time was spent consuming lots of potato pancakes and apple sauce. For some reason I was trying to become to latkes what Joey Chestnut is to Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs.

latkeWhich means that I awoke way more often than usual during what should have been solid slumber time for required trips to the euphemism.

So a very early wake up call from my arch-nemesis, He Who Is Known More Far And Wide Than He Would Like As Joey the Vig, was the last thing I was expecting. Or desired.

Before dawn it came. Joey’s on vacation at some island in the Mediterranean, so he’d been up for awhile. And apparently sitting by the cabana bar, keeping in touch with his action and his minions. Continue reading Joey’s Not Happy With The C-J